MySpace

lalanii.com

LALANII.COM



Last Updated: 10/13/2009

Send Message
Instant Message
Email to a Friend
Subscribe

Gender: Female
Sign: Gemini

State: California
Tuesday, April 28, 2009 

Current mood:  scared
Category: Writing and Poetry

It scares me.

It scares me that you.

It scares me that you are my first thought before the tea kettle’s hot

And the last thought before candied cotton dreams

It scares me that now I picture his and hers

And that I don’t even see anyone else but yours

And that I sparkle when you call me sweetheart

And I keep waiting for you to raise your voice or blow up or over

And I keep praying that the representative is really you and not just a cover

And it scares me how neutral you are

And your off center scares me because I keep waiting for when it’s going to start hurting

It scares me when you miss a beat but you never have

And I know that everything isn’t perfect; but you still make me laugh

And it scares me that they’ll be mistakes

And it scares me that we’ll probably change a lot

And it scares me if we might have a falling out

It scares me to think of losing or good bye

Scares me to think of you lying

Scares me when you were a bit irritated last night

But everything was alright and you’re human

But it still scares me to think of our first fight

And it scares me that I know this isn’t paradise

…Because I keep thinking it might be.

And it scares me that we won’t always see eye to eye

And it scares me that I

It scares me that I

Sometimes

Wanna just run for cover

Sometimes I just wanna say never mind

Because I’m scared

I’m scared that you’re everything I’ve ever ever dreamed of

And I was scared to love you and I’m scared of being in love

And I’m scared you won’t be faithful because

There are so many beautiful women in the world

But it scares me how much I love being YOUR girl

And it scares me when you call all the time because I’ve realized

That you are my best friend even when I don’t feel like it

And it scares me that you never give up

That you keep at it; and look at me like “what?”

And it scares me that you give me all the attention I want

And it scares me the unknown…

And it scares me it really scares me that yesterday on the phone …

You said you’re scared of a home together

And it bothered me but I know better ~

But it scared me that I even thought of ever

When I know what that’s like and I said I would NEVER

I know I said I would never never never

But every second I can’t help it

This is different I feel helpless

And I’m scared and I’m restless and I’m insecure and unsure because

Nothing lasts forever

But you’re exasperatedly noteworthy

And you make me gasp and it’s worth it

And even though I’m scared the floor will fall from under me

Or you will outsmart me

And I’m scared when you whisper things in my ear

When I really really really want to hear them…

And I’m scared that I trust you with my whole heart

And I am scared that having so much trust will break me apart

Scared of the fall

And it so happens I’m

 

F
A
L

L

I

N

G

 

And it scares me that I’ve never felt in this way at all

It scares me that one day you might not be sure

And it scares me one day that you might get bored

And it scares me it scares me forever scares me so hard

 

 

…But not having your forever really scares me much more 




day 28

Currently reading:
Something Borrowed
Release date: 2005-03-10