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- Remember: all of your equipment was furnished by the lowest bidder.
- Never plant a piece of evidence with your initials engraved on it.
- Whatever you're doing -- try not think about it. Poets search themselves. You're a cop: you search crack-whores.
- I don't care what neighborhood you're in -- the people there hate you and do not want you there. You will never be their hero, unless you die in a terrorist attack.
- If they're talking to you -- they're lying.
- There is always a camera filming you. I don't care if you're in a locked bathroom stall, twelve stories underground, in an abandoned house on the moon: some jackass has a cell-phone camera and is filming you. So SMILE -- and don't hit anybody with your flashlight.
- White shoplifters go to therapy, because they have issues. All others go directly to jail.
- If they're breaking the law, they think you're Dirty Harry, a gun-crazed supercop who's knows everything and is onto them. If they called you, they think you're totally incompetent.
- Handcuffs hurt -- because THAT'S how they were designed. If the perp didn't want his wrists chaffed, he should have learned a trade other than car-jacking.
- Tazers speak louder than words.
- They didn't give put that gun on you to feng shui your belt.
- Being a cop means never having to say your sorry.
3:57 AM
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