Most people have heard of the "Darwin Awards". They're awards given out each year for complete and utter stupidity. Basically, it means that natural selection should have wiped these little bastards out of existence a while ago.

Having been at the Big Easy now for over five years, we've all seen our share of complete stupidity. For the most part, it's due to alcohol; but for some reason, our best stories seem to come from before people start drinking, at the door, as we check IDs. Here's my favorites, from my experiences checking IDs.

(Mind you, we are very strict on IDs)

Incident 1:

A short black girl walks up to the door, and shows us her ID. I look at the ID skeptically and say, "Sorry darlin' this isn't you."

"What do you mean it's not me? Ask me anything on there", as she starts reading off her address from memory.

"Ok", I say. "How come you're a small black girl, but on your ID, you're a tall blonde, white girl?"

Incident 2:

A girl walks up to the door a couple of weeks ago and we ask her for ID. She hands over a New York drivers license. It kind of looks like her, but since we're not sure, we ask her for something else. Instead of showing us a back up of that ID, she whips out an entirely different New York license.

My bouncer and I look at her, as if we can't believe that anyone can be this stupid.
"No sweetie, when we ask for 'something else', we mean an ID showing who YOU are".

"Oh.", she says, as she pulls out a third New York license. This one; to her credit; is actually her, stating that she's only 20.

At this point I'm trying to control my laughter after seeing 3 separate NY licenses.
"When we ask you for a backup, it means you need to backup the ID to prove who YOU are, not an entirely different ID", I tell her.

"Oh, I have that", as she backs up the fact that she's 20 with a college ID.

See you in a year.

Incident 3:

We've never been in the habit of confiscating IDs, but sometime's its necessary to end an argument. We remember what it was like to have to use a fake ID. But common sense says that if we know its fake, and you know it's fake, then just walk away. 

We confiscated two IDs from 2 guys at the door a couple of weeks ago. After about 5 minutes of arguing they decided that they wanted to call the cops to get their fake IDs back.

"So, let me get this straight... you're going to call the cops because we stole your fake IDs???", we asked.

It took them a minute.... then they walked away.