I just want to cry. It's been a hard couple of days...lots of little
things that now have my head feeling like it wants to explode and my
heart feeling as if it is breaking. It's times like these I lose my
will to live...which may sound like a strong statement but life can be
so damned hard at times and while I enjoy a big challenge, small things
can really hurt me.



Yesterday I was in a small car accident. I really don't know who's
fault it was but I do know it will raise my insurance and I was
literally 1 week away from getting the CA good driver discount (3 years
on a CA DL).



Last night I had vivid dreams that I was pregnant and that my husband
wanted to make me have an abortion and I wasn't sure what I wanted so I
ended up leaving him and was living in a depressing bedsit in the
sunset with my dog, pregnant and alone.



Multiple texts from staff and models at TF today about male sub being
crap. Shoot was ended after only 1 position. Stuff like this costs the
company, and therefore me directly thousands in wasted staff time,
model kills fees, the loss of an update, etc.



Today I had a debate in class where one of the people I was debating
(who hates immigration) played dirty against me. Normally it would not
bother me but I was already rattled.



While in school, the house alarm got set off. Probably by my next door
neighbor, which means a $200+ fine from the city just because she can't
understand she has to hit "motion off" when the dogs are home and
arming the alarm. Not a big deal except for everything else.



I'm going to cook Marty dinner now, and then cry in the bathtub for a
bit, while reminding myself I have a lot to be happy for and many
people do not.



It probably does not help that I have not taken my thyroid meds for almost 2 weeks.