Chapter 3 "Cash Deserves Better" - part on

Cash McMogulson III here. I'm heading out the door in a second. It's Thursday and we're going to the W to hunt some Dallas' finest cougars in their natural habitat. I'm on the list. I'm always on the list. What, you thought I was staying in? Trust me when I say that's never happened.

You might be wondering where I've been. Yeah I know I havent called you back. I was in Vegas for a while. Bunch of my buddies had a conference up there. ICSC. It's real estate. You weren't invited. You know what I call ICSC? Incredible Coke & Slutty Cougars. Get it? Awesome. So funny. My buddy Turner Parkerton and I thought that up. I just went to blow some money. I don't do retail. Not that I couldn't. What's new? Well another deal went through, and I'm thinking about getting a boat. On my way to the 214 Triple Crown - Car, Boat, Plane. Once you've got a plane, most chicks will give it up on the first date. Most do anyway when you've got think wavy hair and a Zegna blazer. Remember that girl I met? Sara Simpleton? The 469'er? Well I was going to take her out to Tei Tei - on an off-night of course, and shit, it was a fucking nightmare. I almost had to take my blazer off.

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So I met this Sara girl at that party and she was the hottest thing in the room. Like I said before, that other Ashley girl I went out with - total 8-pointer. Sara is a trophy buck. Her ass was hot, even the back of her head was hot. What? Chicks have to look hot from the back. When you've got my seats at the Mavs that's all people see anyway. Have fun watching the game in Row L, and don't try and say hi, they won't let you in my section.

So Tuesday, I decide to call her when I'm on the tollway driving out to Frisco to look at some building...Yeah, I know. There's been a lot of 469 in my life lately. I don't like it either. I don't care if you have 28 Mi Cocinas there, it's not Highland Park. But back to the tollway. That's how you drive in Dallas. 75 is for chicks. I put $1500 dollars on my toll tag a month. I have two of them. One's for the tolls, the other one get's rid of extra change.

So get this shit. Im almost to Beltline and Sara answers and I'm like "Hey, this is Cash McMogulson, you met me the other night." She's like " Cash, that was three weeks ago and can you hold on, I'm at work." And I'm like "Ok, work - like picking out tables & pictures & shit for your house? That's what my mom and sister do. They call it work too." And she says, "No, I work at a law firm. And so I was like "Cool, whose secretary are you?" And then my phone cut out! Must have been the signal. I was way too close to Frisco. It's happened a lot lately. I've got to get a Treo. You can't do good deals if your equipment's sloppy.

Well a few seconds later my Blackberry starts working again so I call her back and she doesn't answer and the voicemail says, this is the office of Sara Simpleton. I didnt know chicks had officesBut then I realized I'd called a girl twice in one day so I hung up.I dont leave messages. I'm not desperate. Especially not with a 469er.

I was about to just say fuck it and play some golf with Davis at the Dallas National, until my phone rings and its Ashley St. Standard! Ashley's like a guaranteed deal, it might not pay much, but you don't have to do much work and you know you're getting paid every time. What! So I answer and I'm like wanna go to Tei Tei tonight - I'll pick you up at 8. She doesnt like Tei Tei, but so what! Its not like shes paying. Girls only eat salads anyway so who cares where you take them. And the good thing about her is that she doesnt really talk, so if I have to watch an away game or something Im not too distracted.

So I go to pick her up at those Post apartments on McKinney. That's where girls live. It's like sorority row but with rent. Not that any of the girls who live their actually pay it. So Im waiting and I'm sitting there emailing Turner and Jefferson. They were going to TABC. I've always got back up plans. I rarely use them. Five minutes go by and I look up and Ashleys just standing outside next to some other black Tahoe waiting for someone to open the door! I mean Fuck! It was an '04! Not even the same body style. And the license plate didnt even say CASH 3. Finally it hit me. I deserve better. Im too smart for her. Im Vice President of McMogulson Real Estate. My dad says Ive got the best hair and the best deals of anyone my age in Dallas. Shes like Addison --- you dont want to deal with her unless I have to. So I drove off

Whatever. Ill call her. Shit its only been two days and its nothing a purse cant fix. That Sara girl was so much hotter and not such a huge idiot. I wonder what she does at that law firm. Gotta go. Davis is here. Ill let you know what happens at the W --- there's no way you're getting in.