Welcome Friends,

The Black deed is done and the time to reveal my story is at this moment. When last I left you I had locked myself inside my dark studio lair to create a song of Doom to slay the fiendish Devilish Rat. The Rat had been a blasphemous pest by continually violating my sacred music chamber along with countless other unspeakable atrocities it had brought on to the world. I could take it no more and declared that "THIS IS WAR!" Here now is the story of how things unfolded...

I closed the enchanted doors of my dark inner chamber and locked them tight. Even the dimensional shifting powers of the Rat would be prevented from entering now. I got to work on my Black Art immediately, crafting various Doom melodies and Death rthyums, working without rest, without nourishment for countless nights and un-nights, never loosing sight of the necessary goal. But as I was deep in the caverns of creation I came to realize that no matter how hard I tried, my powers alone would not be enough to defeat The Devilish Rat. I would need the added strength of Great Music Brother T-Bone! So I summoned the Great T-Bone, Warrior of Countless Jams, Creator of Endless Death Beats, Eater of Many Chickens and with our combined forces we forged an epic Song of Doom and named it, "This Is War". And indeed it was time for war, for no sooner did we finish our Black Song when we heard a loud squealing screech on the steel door outside of the dark inner chamber. It was the Demon Rat! It was clawing slowly at the doors. "Elohymn" it shrieked out with it's shrill voice. "I want to eat you now. Remove the magic from these doors, I promise to make your consumption slow and painful!" There was glib madness in it's tone. The overconfident Rat had walked right into our trap! Quickly T-Bone and I arranged the Infernal studio monitors to face the entrance and prepared to play our Death Song. Releasing the magical seal on the doors I called to The Rat, "You may enter Rat, but this is war...THIS IS WAR!" The Devilish Rat squealed with sickening glee and broke through the doors into the dark inner chamber. There it was, The Devilish Rat, it's bulging red eyes shining in the gloom, smoke billowing from it's malformed snout, scores of little rats scurrying about it's retched feet. "It's Tasting Time!" it wailed as it lunged for me. But the Great T-Bone's timing was quicker as he managed to press the play button first. As I grappled with the Demon the song began to play. Immediately I felt the Rats body tense up and freeze in place. You see, The Devilish Rat's ears are extremely powerful, hearing across dimensions, hearing spirit sounds on levels unimaginable. But this would also prove to be its greatest weakness, for we assaulted its sensitive ears with our song of Progressive Doom Metal and it froze. It was paralyzed! The pounding Death grooves and melodic turns and twists kept it stunned long enough for us to beat the living snot out of it! After beating it's body and breaking every last bone we dragged the Fiend outside to the castle moat where we tossed it down to the hungry moat gators. They gobbled up it quickly with their powerful snapping Jaws of Death. Suddenly it was over. We had won The War. Though I could have sworn I saw a smaller rat down in the moat swimming off with a piece of Rat tail in it's mouth. Hmmm I still wonder about that...Then it started to rain. Not a light sprinkle, but a sudden downpour that felt like little needles on your face. We ran back toward my haunted castle to escape the rain and noticed the doors to the mausoleum had been broken open. Upon further inspection we discovered that the Ivory Tomb of the Evil Bokor Su-Tech had been opened and now the spirit of a powerful Voodoo Priest is loose! Just flipping great right! Well that's not all, from out of the misty graveyard comes a shambling hoard of rotting corpses. Apparently, The Bokor had been busy summoning Zombies! T-Bone and I retreated to the castle to watch from the safety of the Haunted Tower as Zombies fell into the moat to get gobbled up one by one by the gators. "I wonder how many they can eat before the moat starts to fill up" I ask T-Bone. "Hmmm don't know" he shrugs. So there we sat, watching gators munch, contemplating our situation. Finally T-Bone spoke, "After a rest, we'll need to call the full powers of EPOCH together and craft another song. This time to capture The Bokor". "Yep" I agreed. "But let us feed on Rat Blood first my friend, I'm deathly thirsty". And so, with my belly full, I'm headed back to my cold tomb for some much needed rest. In my nightmares I will absorb the dream melodies needed to defeat The Bokor and prevent a Zombie Apocalypse. Until next time then my friends I bid you a dark farewell and hope you enjoy, "This is War"...

Elohymn.