early mornings, ships in the night, or morse code at the very least, war stories from old people who didnt have the choice, who retained beauty in the flux, the dark and light, the truth that the differences are the separation needed for growth, doing gardening-which is good, but killing on average two snails a day by accident-which is bad, realsing how many animals have antennae-snails cats/dogs/etc whiskers,elephants trunks, feelers, and so many more, bad thoughts and good ones, dreams that make me wake up wet, but not sexually, wanting to go back to sleep,  drawing, castles, ancient anythings, especially trees, bonobo's, the difference between medievil farming and industrial farming, apocoliptic thoughts, blazing sun and thunderstorms with truly shaking thunder and bolts of lightning you can see, wearing shorts in the rain, my cat, the noises she makes, chihiro, mononoke, the master and margarita, love without romance, the wireless, bless it, singing, wanting; someone to stroke my hair, to climb a big hill, swim, swimming in a clean river, missing catherine, wanting home, but knowing its not time to go yet, toughening up, not being able to articulate, changing places with people, wondering if dreams predict anything or are just a processing of everything that is therefore could be, perception, sticking to lessons learned, empathy, wanting to be a really good bee-bop dancer, and the rest

ceeeeeeeeeejx