As Al Pacino says in the great Carlito's Way... "tired, baby... tired". Got back from Cannes yesterday, was in the office today, but really should have taken a day off. Eyes closing... head drooping... shattered.

Still, Cannes was decent fun. Hope you guys have headed over to the main site to check out not only my video blogs - complete with cameos from the likes of Edgar Wright and Eli Roth, and interviews with GDT, QT, RR and some people who aren't just known by their initials - but Damon Wise's old-fashioned blog, which uses an archaic notion known as words, typed on something that I believe we used to call a keyboard, that you then read on a screen. So out-moded... it's a wonder people ever used to do it that way.

The 10th and final Cannes blog will be up on the site tomorrow. I know, three days late... but editing it and uploading it took longer than we reckoned. Then you'll be able to sit down and watch all ten in a row. We produced over 70 minutes of content in just over a week... not to mention all the unused takes, bloopers and general horsing around that will pop up on a gag reel before too long.

So, a quick rundown of the highlights and lowlights of my Cannes film festival:

Highlights:

* Seeing No Country For Old Men - due to a busy schedule, I saw only three movies at the Festival, and one of those was a Friday night showing of Rio Bravo (with introduction from QT, which was pretty special). In a way I topped and tailed the Festival with a classic Western, although No Country... is the kind of brutal modern movie that Howard Hawks, you sense, would have struggled to comprehend. Where the bad guys don't necessarily get their comeuppance, and the white hats are more often than not drenched in their own blood come movie's end. It's an extraordinary spare, sparse, and unforgiving film, astonishing on a technical level, brilliantly acted by Josh Brolin, Javier Bardem and Tommy Lee Jones and somehow manages to simultaneously be unlike anything the Coens have ever done, and yet be very much of a piece with their back catalogue, notably Fargo and Blood Simple.

There are suspense sequences in this movie that are the equal of anything Alfred Hitchcock produced, in my opinion. And praise doesn't come much higher, or hyperbolic (!), than that.

* Having my nipple tweaked by Guillermo del Toro: the pain still haunts me. But it's something to tell the kids.

* Convincing Edgar Wright to cameo as 'Joe Wright', and endure a barrage of (albeit comedic) insults about his own talents and career. Great guy, great sport.

* Meeting Jerry Seinfeld: even if it was across a crowded table in a busy beach marquee, when I could hardly hear what he was saying (and vice versa)

Lowlights:

* Telling a joke to Seinfeld, only for it to die on its arse. Memo to self: never try to out-comedy a comedian. It's like going to Anfield and running onto the pitch with a ball and trying to dribble round Stevie Gerrard.

* finding that, six days on, I still have a bruise on my nipple. thanks, GDT!

* Babbling like an idiot in front of Quentin Tarantino.

* Finding, two days after the Death Proof party, that Damon Wise had a spare VIP section ticket in his pocket.

* Watching Liverpool lose in the Champions League final.

* Seeing hardly any films... particularly gutted to have missed out on Death Proof and the Palme D'Or winner, 4 Months, 3 Weeks and 2 Days. Meant to be depressing as hell, but brilliant nonetheless.

* Arranging an interview time with Jean-Claude Van Damme... only for him to pull a no-show.

Otherwise, though, Cannes is every bit as mad and mashed and marvellous as always, a drain on your time, your energy and your resources, but a truly welcome one. There's always a pattern to Cannes: you go there, you endure long, long working days (even longer this year, thanks to the blog, with less downtime than ever before), you're 30 seconds' walk from a beach without getting the benefit of actually walking on it, and you come home absolutely knackered. You say to yourself, 'never again'. And yet every year, around March, you start to look forward to it. And if you don't go, you actually miss it.

So... see you on the Croisette next year!