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Kinnie Starr



Last Updated: 12/16/2009

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Status: Single
City: vancity/T.O.
State: British Columbia
Country: CA
Signup Date: 12/13/2005
Sunday, July 26, 2009 

Current mood:  aggravated
well this is a little bit of a rant but it needs to be said out loud:

WHY IS IT ALWAYS ASSUMED THAT EVERYONE NEEDS/WANTS TO HAVE CHILDREN??

i can't tell you how many people ask me and my husband "when are you going to have kids" as if the natural evolution of every relationship is children.  my husband and i don't have a conventional marriage.  we don't believe in ALOT of the standards around marriage set forth in countless movies and books, so why would just suddenly make babies?

people, we are OVERPOPULATED.  has anyone noticed?  and what if it indeed takes a community to raise a child, as in:  the more aunties and uncles out there without children the more available we are to be there for overworked parents striving to meet some nuclear family status quo bullshit that keeps them encased in this DUO that exhausts them both?

what is the point of living is to love all human beings as though they are family?  what if HAVING children is indeed the 'selfish' choice --- there are 26,000 native children in canada without homes.  look outside the native community and the numbers are even larger.  there are alot of kids that need homes... why are people so desperate to make blood copies of themselves when they could help kids out that are struggling to be adopted?

i don't know why it is considered appropriate to pry into the personal lives of a couple just because they are married.  i don't say to married people with children, "oh... you had kids.... what a shame .... when do you plan on making something for other people than your own nuclear family?? you know, like art? something to clarify your world view to give strength to strangers?"

almost every media form from gossip rags to hollywood movies emphasizes the need to bear children and indeed glamorizes it to the point that lord knows how many bearers of twins and triplets have taken massive amounts of in vitro drugs just to concieve, but aren't there other choices out there to show love for the planet than multiplying?





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pepper assault

 
I agree.. more folks should adopt. 

also, did you happen to see the recent McLean's article titled, "The case against having kids."  http://www2.macleans.ca/2009/07/24/no-kids-no-grief/



 
Posted by pepper assault on Thursday, August 06, 2009 - 9:24 PM
[Reply to this
Jeff
Jeff Sears

 
some people have more evolved thinking..
 
Posted by Jeff on Thursday, August 06, 2009 - 9:24 PM
[Reply to this
Jeff
Jeff Sears

 
some people have more evolved thinking...
 
Posted by Jeff on Thursday, August 06, 2009 - 9:24 PM
[Reply to this
KORY BURK

 
hey kstarr that was a rant and your point is well documented and definately understood.

i do take note, in my opinion, that having children is not a "elfish choice" the oppistite, it's a selfless act. as far as my life is concerned, married with 2 girls, and this is the god's truth, my life is all about them and everything else takes a backseat. as you know kstarr i waited a long time to jump into that. i had a lot of ME i had to empty out to be ready. 
as for people asking you "the question" all the time, maybe look at it this way, maybe they see the love and passion you have and that you and your man have. when people see that they start to imagine what kids from that passion and love would be like. "the question" is , 9 times out of 10 it comes from a loving place. trust me on this one kstarr, if you ever do have kids, you will never feel so much love for your man as that moment you give birth and look at him and how much love you have for one little new born. yes the world is overpopulated but the world can always use another warrior for love, respect and knowledge.

thanks for making me think

like you always do

all the best
kory

 
Posted by KORY BURK on Thursday, August 06, 2009 - 9:24 PM
[Reply to this
Tinsel Korey

 
A-fucking-men Sister!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 
Posted by Tinsel Korey on Thursday, August 06, 2009 - 9:25 PM
[Reply to this
Mike Thornblahblarg
Mike Thornhill

 
im grateful you've made art instead of babies! 
 
Posted by Mike Thornblahblarg on Thursday, August 06, 2009 - 9:25 PM
[Reply to this
Esmeralda

 
AMEN.

 
Posted by Esmeralda on Thursday, August 06, 2009 - 9:25 PM
[Reply to this
nic☆le
nicole garcia

 
i decided very young in high school that i was not having any children. i have never changed my mind and when i was 24 had my tubes tied. i agree with your points on why people don't have to have children and then have my own.
my friends think it is sooo sad because i would be such a great mom but i know i am so much happier without them. and if that biological clock starts kicking in my late 30's or whenever it rears it's ugly head i can adopt and hopefully do some good that way. i love my life and the freedom of what i have chosen and am very grateful.
what really scares me sometimes is that the people that should not be having kids seem to be popping them out like mad and the people that seem to be more aware have decided against it. hopefully they will all adopt and even out some things.

thanks for the post.

 
Posted by nic☆le on Saturday, August 08, 2009 - 5:20 AM
[Reply to this
The Reclusive Canadienne

 
For years I didn't want kids and I was fine with that. I eventually changed my mind and decided to have one, and the first thing my coworker said to me when I got pregnant was, "Oh thank god, I was beginning to worry about you." Whaaaaat?! It's such a personal thing. I don't care who has kids and who doesn't; why should anyone care if I do or don't?

(My son is six months old now, and everyone is now asking me: "When's the next one coming?" SHUT UP!)

 
Posted by The Reclusive Canadienne on Thursday, August 27, 2009 - 7:16 PM
[Reply to this
Lindsay!

 
i totally agree!!

 
Posted by Lindsay! on Tuesday, October 27, 2009 - 2:28 PM
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