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We live in a world of seemingly infinite options. The technological advancements of the past century have taken mankind from isolated communities to a worldwide community. The internet has opened a window into the lives of people from Shanghai to Los Angeles. Dating sites make a new relationship just a key stroke away. With all of the options out there, it can be hard to feel settled about settling down with one person for the rest of your life. There is a very different way to look at commitment than the conventional “ball and chain” mentality. The reality is, by giving up everything completely to a committed relationship, you get everything in return.
It is easy to keep the “grass is greener” mentality when you’re dating. It seems like there is always a more intriguing option just around the corner, and the more you keep one foot out when you step into a new relationship, the easier it is to take off at the first difficulty that comes along. This is an endless cycle that too many never break out of. The common portrayal of a “man’s man” is the James Bond character, the guy who lives a life of independent adventure and always has a new beautiful girl on his arm, merely an eye candy dessert to be consumed and discarded without a second thought. What Hollywood doesn’t show you is the end of the movie---a man who reaches the end of his life and still hasn’t found what he’s looking for, as U2 put it. Because really, if you spend your whole life looking, you’ll never give yourself the chance to start experiencing life authentically. You don’t really know yourself until you give yourself away.
Commitment is the key to making real progress in your life. Your character is pushed and stretched as you are put in difficult situations, and your spouse goes through the same kind of spiritual growth. You watch each other grow, and at the end of your life, you have someone who remembers the good ol days. This is something you don’t think about when you’re living the fast paced James Bond life, you don’t think about what it will all mean if nobody remembers the early days, if nobody understands how you’ve progressed or what you’ve experienced. What’s more, you won’t have that person in your life who you saw develop and grow, who you helped to become the person that they are at the end of their life.
If you want to see more reasons why long term relationships are better than hundreds of short lived romances, movies and TV aren’t helping much. It seems the popular shows typically portray the James Bond type character and glamorize the swinging bachelor life in countless scenarios. Almost every reality show comes to mind, Hugh Hefner comes to mind. It is tough to watch him with his triple blond harem (who have all left him for their own TV shows or other romantic exploits) without feeling a sense of pity. No amount of stuff can compensate for being alone at the end of your life.
True happiness, at the end of the day, comes from a committed relationship. At the end of your life you won’t look back and wish you had more conquests, you’ll want to look back with someone whose love has carried you through.
Ryan Shupe & The Rubberband on iLike - Add iLike to your MySpace
