NYC!!!!
We rolled into Manhattan and Shane started blasting "New York" by NIna Hagen. Lyrics include: "New York City is the hottest place for a honeymoon and a hotel room" and "after the show/we'll be ready to go/we are going disco/but before we hit east 7th street/boo boo boo boo!" Steve and Shane had a little kid fight alternately turning it on and off. Honestly, it made driving through Manhattan pretty exciting and movie-esque, if we were in a movie about operatic deathrock disco-hopping. Which we are. We located the club and it began pouring rain. We loaded in and got incredibly wet. We found a parking spot nearby and Shane attempted to park the van. I took over and was ultimately successful, but not before tapping the car behind me. Some opportunists ran over and told us that it was their car and that some ancient scratch three feet up the hood of the car was somehow the result of my bumper-tap. We got in a discussion, and offered to switch insurance information. One of the guys went across the street and pretended to tap stuff into his cell phone, while his accomplice told us to just give him $20 and it would be okay. He also told us some incomprehensible story meant to scare us that ended in him being fined $1000 by the police, presumably for scratching someone's car. We were getting wetter and wetter and pretty frustrated. Shane decided just to pay them off and move on. We grumpily walked down the street and turned around to watch them fist-bump and laugh with their friends. We walked past about a million three-van-length parking spaces within the same block we had parked on. We turned around and moved the van anyway. We went to a tea house and the rain let up, just in time to let us know that we could have loaded in dry conditions if we had waited a short period of time. We also would have been $20 richer and in a considerably better mood. Me and Shane had some food and we all had a beer. Our friend from Madison Jenny called us and made plans to meet up. We walked back to the trash bar and read the paper (a depressing read: the lead story was about the only type of murder that hasn't declined in NYC-women murdered by their partners) and drank beer and ate tater tots. Jenny showed up and Christian and Steve went with her to eat and pick up house keys from Sarah, a friend and bartender at an awesome beer bar close by. Sarah graciously offered the use of her apartment, which was extra great since it was close by, spacious, AND on the first floor to make load-in easy. Shane and I had the stupid idea that maybe it would be good manners to stay and watch the first few bands. Normally, this is a good way to make friends and demonstrate faith in an implicit camaraderie amongst bands. In New York, it is at best a way to have a good laugh and a few drinks and at worst a sad waste of time. Well, that's not entirely fair. I guess it's theoretically possible that one of the other bands might want to make friends or might be a good band. It's just never happened to me at a club show in New York before. Shane and I watched the bands and had some drinks. Christian and Steve and Jenny reappeared and Steve and I flipped a coin to determine the driver for the night. I lost. Lots of people we know and love showed up: Liz, Chris, Rachel and her friends, Hillary, yarnball and her friend, Kerry's friends Meryl and Molli and a guy I forgot his name (sorry!), and Josh. My amp was making an incredibly obnoxious whining noise due to a blown pre amp tube, so I had to use the house rig. It was clean and pure, which threw me off a little and bummed me out. Better than nothing, though. The sound guy, Owen, was really awesome and sweet. We played a fun show and then began the celebration of Shane's birthday. Owen poured giganto shots and the boys were having lots of fun while I had a water. Owen's girlfriend was really nice too and we all had a good time dancing and being stupid. Shane found himself on his belly on a barstool being spun around and around by Owen. That adventure ended with a horrific fall onto his head that didn't seem to faze him at all. Happy Birthday, Shane! We loaded and went down to Sarah's house and unloaded. Sarah had left us an adorable and very long note with many tips on things to do in the neighborhood. What a sweetheart.

CONSTANT COMMENT by Shane
Um, I'm officially excusing myself from commentary on New York since my memory of the evening is spotty at best (it was my birthday, after all). I will say that I had a wonderful time, and have the pictures to prove it. Even during the parts that haven't quite managed to stick in my mind. Bic Pens: WRITE ON!!

BRATTLEBORO, VERMONT
The next day Nigel led us to an extinct coffeehouse so we eventually found ourselves at a Mexican restaurant. It had lots of murals painted by someone who doesn't feel confident painting eyes, so everyone was either facing away, sleeping, or some type of demon-person. There were plaster tree branching twining from the ceiling and with fake (we hope ) birds' nests placed here and there. The food took FOREVER, and we saw all the employees buying jeans from an old asian woman who sold them from a shopping bag. Our food was promptly inhaled when it arrived and we went back to the apartment to load and leave. I saw a store that said "international gifts" and thought, for some reason, that they might carry irish windsocks, which is something I'm looking for. It turns out the world only includes Puerto Rico, other Caribbean islands, and Central America. But not Mexico. There was a sweatshop in the back. Christian bought a Lion of Judah rearview mirror flag. We loaded and started our drive towards Vermont. There was horrible traffic and pouring rain and the whole drive was a bitch. Nigel took us on a detour that was also full of traffic. We were worried about being late for the show so I called our contact number which went like this: "Hi, this is Cynthia from Screamin' Cyn Cyn and the Pons" "Yeah?" "Is this the contact number for the Tinderbox?" "[laughs derisively] I guess so. I don't know where Kyle is though." "Okay, um, we're running late. Can you let him know?" "If I see him or he calls." "Thanks." I think it was his mom or something. We finally made it and realized that Brattleboro is a very laid-back town and being late was no biggy. There were lots of kids hanging out and everyone was super friendly. We loaded in. Well, the boys loaded in. I used the bathroom and was horrified to realize that there was no way that the toilet was going to flush. I got very red and embarrassed and tried bucket-flushing it, only to realize that there was just about zero water pressure coming out of the sink and that it would take all day. I asked a resident youth if there was a trick to the toilet. He stared at me and said he had no idea. I plunged and got very angry and frustrated and starting cursing stupid Vermont and its stupid lack of stupid plumbing. After a VERY long time everything worked out, but I was in a foul mood and ready to leave Vermont immediately. Shane laughed and laughed at me. Then Steve and Christian laughed and laughed at me. I felt a little better. Then we ate wonderful burritos prepared by a very friendly lady who operated the burrito stand in a parking lot. I felt entirely better. The place we were playing was a cool all ages space for artists and bands. Our friend Ed who used to live there helped set up the show. Alan, an old friend of Ed's, was getting tattooed in another room during the show. He was getting an apple in a cloud surrounded by worms wearing pearls and brains and grapes. Neat! While chatting with Kyle, Shane mentioned that he had heard that there were many legal nude beaches in the area. Kyle said, "Yeah, but it's not legal to be naked downtown anymore." He explained that until very recently, it was legal to be naked anywhere in Brattleboro. The media got ahold of that fact, and soon there were some unsavory naked folks traveling from near and far to wander around Brattleboro. The city governments heavy-handed response? No more nudity downtown. We played a fast show, then talked to our friend Tim from Mathematicians, who urged us to come to his house that night. We love him, so we decided to cut out. This made our total time in Vermont about two and half hours, probably a record for us for least amount of time spent in a town. Steve drove the windy (like curvy, not breezy), foggy roads through the backwoods of Vermont and we ended up near Salem, NY around one in the morning. Hooray!

CONSTANT COMMENT by Shane
Brattleboro seemed really awesome, and it's a pity we didn't get to enjoy all it had to offer. Everyone I've ever talked to has said that their swimming holes are amazing, and I was rather taken with the favorable face-to-beard ratio, so it hurt a bit to have arrived so late and left so early. But, nearby camping with good old friends awaited, so we braved it to upstate NY. Marlboro Ultra Lights: The "I'm Quitting" Cigarette.