I think I am doing good with this post. Atleast it didn't take me 5 months to make another post, just one lol. Oh how the world has changed so quickly. I'm content with it right now, for the time being. I wasn't before I'll addmit, but now I think it is safe to say that I am indeed "okay." I see the world through a whole new light now, and the little girl inside of me, the one that was so afraid to grow up, is finally, very slowly, letting go of her favorite childhood toy. She leaves it behind without realization more and more each day. Though it might sound heartbreaking, it is after all part of growing up. I haven't changed to a drastic messure though,no, I am still the same personality wise. I just have more responsibilities now. I have a husband, and a life growing inside of me more and more everyday, and in 4 more months it will be here, and it will expect me to know how to take care of it and raise it. That is one of the most frightening things you can ever imagine. Especially when you are only a 20 year old who is barely getting used to living with someone who is not her mother.

Life is full of surprises around every corner. Some corner's have sharper edges than others, and you have to be careful not to run into one. I hope I don't run into any and fall flat on my face. I hope I can do as good of a job with my own child as my mother did with me.

It will be a strange new adventure and new chapter to my life. We will never truely ever be alone like we are now. Before all this took place we couldn't wait to be alone. For it just to be the 'two of us.' In the reality of it all that 'alone' time never happened. Even now we are not truely alone. Just because something can not be seen yet doesn't mean it is not there. A part of me is saddened by this realization, but another part of me doesn't mind it so much. I think everything will work out for the better in the long run. I'm not a little girl anymore, and no matter how much i say i'd give anything to be the way I was at 18, so free and just living, I would never give up my husband and child for "anything."