Moms pissed and depressed that her great plan to ralley her "ass-hole friends" to her side and pay attention to her again by telling them that I'm "abusing" her didn't work.  I feel bad for her because she felt despirate enough to feel the need to do something like that, and worse for her watching her cry for almost three days straight after the shock and disbelief that they wont see her sank in.   I can't get mad at her, she's got issues and is more then a bit unballenced with her medication changes.   

She wants her stuff back from Larry (one of her compassionless fuck-tard friends/ex cross dressing boyfriend)   And she misses her friends, people who knew her befor her strokes.   She wants to be "Carol" again, and not be the recovering "broken Barbie" that she's trapped being, especialy with a daughter who mothers her and occationally smothers her, shes not a big fan of affection, never has been.  So I'm driving her bug fucking crazy, and her friends wont come see her...

I've been working to help her rebuild some kind of life, she has another appointment with her therapist, and I'm going to get her to a drum circle as soon as I verify the location and time (people who believe in the same stuff she's in to)  and she's got her field trips.  

Who knows, maybe in a few days the defeated feeling will disapate and hope will spring eternal, and I can be "Wonder Woman " again.  Right now I'm a defeated woman crying in her keyboard with a messy kitchen feeling terrably non effective with a banger of a headache, and a Mom who is beyond consolation.    I hate knowing she's so miserable, and knowing that I can't fix things for her.