Stuck

I tried to jump off a cliff, but I missed and skinned my knees. So I ran my car into a wall but went straight through it, my car actually looked cleaner. So I tried to sleep forever, but someone stole my pillow. After that I tried to drink myself to death, but the whiskey evaporated before it hit my tongue. So then I threw myself into a trash compactor, but I dented it and had to pay for the repairs. Then I walked in front of a train and it just went around me. So I took a piece of glass to slit my throat and it shattered, I cut my finger and needed to buy a band aid but I spent all my money fixing the trash compactor. So I took a gun and stuck it in my mouth and fired, but I swallowed the bullet like a pill and it gave me the hiccups. So I walked into a bar and picked a fight with the biggest bad ass I could find, but when he punched me it tickled so bad I pissed my pants and everyone at the bar laughed at me. So finally I bought a plane ticket and at 50,000 feet I jumped from the plane with no parachute and got stuck in a cloud, and now I can't get out.