So yeah-- a while ago I was like-- Myspace is so stupid.. Like what the fuck? But after you go on it-- it's like-- dude.. This is fucking addicting.. And I know mine is plain right now-- just deal with it bitch. Wow.. That was truely a ramble.. But anyway-- down to the serious stuff

I'm just really frustrated. REALLY frustrated. School sucks. Really big--huge-- hairy monkey balls. (Yes! That's right! MONKEY BALLS!) And honestly-- I cant find the reason to actually want to go. I mean-- I do want to go. I don't even know anymore dude.

I like learning. Really-- I do. If I could just sit in a class and have a discussion and learn right then I'd be super happy. But all the homework and shit drives me fucking crazy. It's like-- as if 8 hours a day locked into that little prison isn't enough then they want you to lock yourself in yoru room for 4 more hours and do homework. Let me ask you something though... WHEN DO WE START LIVING? It's always the next step you know? You go to elementry to go to middle to go to jr.high to go to highschool to go to college to go to graduate school to go to... BANG! That's it! We just keep going on our marry little way intill BANG we're in the 'real' world. But explain this 'world' you speak of?  What the hell is this 'world'?

Is the world when you sit there in your 3 million dollar house with a full refridgerator full of food and like 10k worth of clothes and stuff in your closet while 1/6 (1billion people) are living on less than one dollar a day?! Is that real?! Is that life for us all?! I dont' know. Maybe i have too much compassion. Maybe I'm just stupid. I have no idea. All I know is that I'm not like everyone else. And sometimes that's okay with me. Other times I feel like the stupidest person in the world.. And I can't help it.

I feel this obligation to people to like-- save them I guess? Like there are these intense feelings for me to go out and save the world. Help to find the cause of aids...cancer...etc.. Go out and feed the 1billion people in the world that can't. Donate almost all of my money to people less fourtanate. Spend more time with the people I love.. Put less emphasis on material possessions. The world just makes it look like you can't do that without 20 years of school under your belt. And you know what? Maybe they're right? Ignorance never helped anyone...

Well..sometimes I wish I was ignorant. Then I wouldn't have to hurt so much.

I bet people that barely know me right now are like-- holy shit.. This girl is like-- totally different than I thought her to be. And it's true. I guess-- don't judge a book by it's cover? There is so much shit I know that you wouldn't even believe. And it's to damn bad when people think they know it all.. Because they don't. I'm not saying that I've had the hardest life (not by far) but I would say I've been through a lot of shit. And I think that has made me a stronger person...  Maybe that's part of the problem too. I think a lot of people see me as invincible... I'm no where close... But I am pretty strong-- so don't fuck with me...

It's funny. I was thinking about the good ol' days when I was happier (5th-7th grade).. How I've changed. I've been hiding-- then and now.. I'm so many people it's scary... I dont' think people can put me into a category..because everytime they do-- I've slipped through that one and gone into another one. I keep falling through.. And no one can seem to catch me.

Anyway. I'm done for now. lol. Gimmie some comments.