So, the other night I watched what I think may have been one of the most pathetic things on television. Why did I watch it, you ask? Ye olde train wreck-itis. You know - when it’s so bad you can’t look away? Anyway, we were flipping through channels and saw this scene of a heavy-set man and a buff (but apparently very stupid) Long Island guy, in which the LI dude proceeded to throw his pleasantly plump roommate’s stuff out of the house. As he did this, the rotund guy implored “Joey Bachecalupo†to please stop, asking why he would do such a thing.
Of course, no answer came. Joey just kept right on being disrespectful and stupid. A scene or two later, Mr. Nice challenges Joey about the matter of his belongings and Joey basically tells him to “come and get it†(meaning a beating that was obviously earned by not being as cool and/or buff as Joey). That scene ended quite satisfyingly, with Mr. Nice kissing Joey right on the lips. HA! The look on that tough guy’s face was priceless!
In any event, I found myself reliving some elementary school nightmares while watching the remainder of this fiasco they call a reality television show. It turned out to be Average Joe, wich evidently pits supposedly hot, not-very-intelligent, muscle-bound morons against skinny, possibly unattractive nice guys who obviously weren’t the Captains of the football team back in the day. They got pelted mercilessly by dodgeballs (oh yes - the old Nerds’ Nightmare was revived to ensure that the emotional trauma was completely effective), ridiculed by the Jocks, and mind-fucked by an untalented wanna-be actress who was the fakest thing I’ve ever seen (who pretended she actually liked the guys on the show).
This was just so incredibly bad that I couldn’t believe it. What’s worse is that the Jocks always had the last laugh - kinda like they did back in school. The particular guys they chose to cast brought back vivid memories of the fools who were respected because they were brainless but muscular - who were liked because they were too cool to like you. And the poor Average Joes, with their pathetic lines like, “She’s the real thing,†and “No one has ever shown me love,†squeezed through trembling lips as tears were beginning to trickle down - those guys need some serious therapy. I mean, the whole point of making it to graduation is so you can escape that shit, right? Not for these guys. They will evidently forever be the guys that get picked on, who will never win because they don’t believe they can, who will never win the girl of their dreams because the truly believe that the muscle-bound idiots deserve her.
What’s worse than all that is that this is what the world gets to see of our “culture.†Not only that, but Hollywood relentlessly perpetuates the “A-Crowd†mentality of high school, poisoning the minds of young people into buying the crap that says they’ll never get away from how they’re seen today. Go ahead America! Watch more reality TV and drown yourself in the imaginary worlds of other idiots and tell yourself they’re not doin’ it for the camera!
- Aradia