Hey everybody, I hope you're all well.  I'm doing great!  I'm in Hollywood, California and I love it here.  The people are really...well...just REAL, ya know? 

I've even made a bunch of new friends!  They're so cool and funny. 

I met them as soon as I got into town when they gave me a "node of cleansing" ankl bracelet and I asked if they were a cult and they said "yeah man, we're totally a cult" (buncha kidders!) which means they're totally NOT because we all know that cults don't admit to it.  ...So I've been hanging out with them a lot.

It's been a learning experience.  They needed my money and credit cards but in return I get more chronetics (cooool!), which make up the human soul.  And the more chronetics you get,  the higher of a Tempra-level you are on the Chronosphere when you pass through the Gate of Reason at End-Life.  It's like a video-game only the graphics are better!

And just for joining I got a gift card for Hollywood Plastic Surgery!  I'm thinking about getting a beak so I can finally carry out my childhood dream of being my fantasy super-hero Pigeon Boy!  Then the streets would REALLY be safe.

Anyway, I'm having a great time and they're a really fun bunch.  The robes are a bit uncomfortable and twice a day I have to shave Alpha-Ruler's back, but I get all the chocolate gelato I could eat because Alpha-Ruler lives above a gelato creamery.  And my new name (Gerbil-Taint) is starting to stick!

Alpha-Ruler has a Hover-round wheelchair outfitted with nodes of cleansing (sweet!) and his robes are a lot brighter than mine but he says that if I keep racking up chronetics and shaving his back twice a day I'll get to graduate to level 2 soon!

Tomorrow morning I have my arranged marriage to Kiwi-Blooper 7 and then
we're all going to see the Jonas Brother's 3-D movie at the 5 dollar movie theater and I'm looking forward to meeting all of my new brothers and sisters.    And it's so hot down here the haircut really helps!  Then we're all gathering at the Staples center to drink shots from the Basin of Heart before Mothership lands.  I asked if the shots were alcoholic because I don't drink and my Den-Mother said "It's arsenic you fucking moron...we're a cult!"  (SOOO funny!). 

Anyway, I'm really looking forward to it, but I have to go because Den-Mother needs the community computer to check her Adult-Friend-Finder profile. 

Oh, and if anyone is interested in checking out a human standup comedy show, my shell (Jesse Case) and I will be performing at the Comedy and Magic Club in Hermosa Beach, CA on the 19th because we need more money for more chronetics.  See you there and I'll let you know the good word!  Thanks!