Hey there errrrbody.  I'm in Eugene, Oregon.  It's a big track and field town, from the looks of it.  I mean, there're lots of fields and the people have track-marks. 

I'm staying at the Best Western hotel, and somehow lucked myself into a room with a balcony.  I like hotel rooms with balcony's because late at night if I wake up to pee I will have to stumble around in an unfamiliar place in the dark and there's a chance I could die.  Living on the edge like that keeps me fresh.

I just ate dinner at the lovely House of Chen restaurant.  It's weird to be in someone's house if you haven't met them, but the lady that brought me food assured me that it's okay and that I should put my shoes back on. 

There was a Poi pond right there in Chen's dining room, with a fountain next to it, and the sound of the rushing water ALMOST overtook the clatter of silverware from the old people sitting around.  Old people can clatter the shit out of silverware.  Aside from that, I have nothing against them, but perhaps Nerf silverware should be in order.  Chen doesn't like music playing in his dining room and I can understand.  A lot of family's don't play music while they're at the dining room table.  I suppose it's because they like to hear each other chew.  It brings people together.  When I go out on a date I bring lots of gum and keep it dead silent in the car, just so the girl knows what she's up against.

I'm sure you're wondering what happened with my friends from my last blog.  Well let me tell you that I'm NOT friends with them anymore.  My arranged marriage went well, although Kiwi-Blooper-7, my new den-wife, had a hover-round wheelchair like Alpha Ruler so the consummation took forever.  By then we were almost late to the Jonas Brothers in 3-D movie and she couldn't get the 3-D glasses over her regular glasses so I would just explain what was happening.  We had to switch seats so I could be by her good ear. 

Then we went to the Basin of Heart to drink before Mothership landed and I was selected by Alpha-Leader to distribute the shots of Heart from the Basin.  Well, like I said before, I was TOLD the shots were non-alchoholic but everyone I gave a shot too instantly fell down STUMBLING drunk and just laid there really still and silent.  That's some strong booze!  Well, I'm not going to have any part of that sort of party scene so after I gave out the last shot before mine I just left.  When I was walking out a bunch of cops and news people were running past me in the direction of the Basin.  I guess I missed Mothership landing!  Oh well.  I didn't have enough Chronetics saved up anyway.  But it's still a bummer to find out my friends were all a bunch of lousy drunks.  The more ya know, huh?!

So then, tomorrow I'll be back in Seattle and things will be non-stop for a while.  As soon as I drop off my suit-case I'll have to leave for a show.  I'm MOVING in October (that was the big news), so if you're in Seattle we should hang out before I leave.  I've decided it's time to get famous (because it's up to me).  I have a bunch of projects to get done before I leave, including more "Lighten Up!" episodes (check it out at Funnyordie.com) and the first (and possibly last) episode of my cartoon series, "Leftovers."  Everyone that's worked on the project have kept their mouths pretty shut about it but there're are some fun surprises in it and we'll have a screening somewhere in Seattle before I leave.  Details will be here, on the face, and the twit.  Aside from that, keep checking my schedule, as things fill up quickly for me and I'm on stage every night for the next 2 months.

C-dizzle out.

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