just today I woke up and decided to spend some time getting to understand this site.  my first discovery was my daughters blog.  WOW!  there she was- my amazing baby girl!  all grown up and gone since April  '05 (school in CA).  and although i would prefer her to choose a neighborhood education, i couldn't be more proud of her accomplishments, ambition, struggles, and will to complete her goals. 

next, i saw a picture of my nephew holding 2 beautiful little boys. "oh  my god", these were his children!  i don't know how long it was before i stopped crying long enough to look at them, and him, and realize that this could be my biggest project to date. 

   I have to bring what pieces  of a family there are out there back together.  you see, someone  out there is counting on me to do this-my mom.

 about 12 yrs. ago we lost the backbone of the small unity of family i call home.  never in her life did she believe how amazing she was!  from the first day of her life to the last, the tremendous struggles she encountered were ubelievable to most.  from the beginning of her existance,  born out of wedlock and sold on an army base, to her last breath she was the strongest, most caring woman i could ever know.  i  am not, by far, the person i know she wished for me to be in life, but i do have the base she gave me; love, morals, concience, faith, and strength. and the one thing she lacked- the ability to forgive herself. 

this is where my story starts now.  the only request she ever had was for her three children- ronnie, bobby and myself , to always stay together as a family for each other.  to keep our children together no matter what so they would know know each other.  we have failed miserably.

so, at this time, as i write these words, i have a great hope that through the gateways of the internet and a little searching of my own i will be able to fulfill at least a part of her wish.

if you are out there and you read these words you will know if this is part of your story- please  help with the locating and connection process,  the rest will be up to the each of us to decide how important this is.

we all know what pain she lived in, please help me make sure she can smile on us now.

i love you, MOM..............................