Here my prayer O Lord and let my cry come unto thee. Hide not thy face from me from me in the days when I am in trouble; incline thine ear unto me: in the day when I call answer me speedily.

O very the past few weeks I have  been feeling kind of down. I have had alot of things hit me at once and its amazing I didnt just brake. I guess God is workin  in me in someway. But so is the devil in a way. I know not to harm myself and I know God doesn't want me to but its like the Devil is like go ahead it wont be that bad. I know its wrong but its easier. It will make me feel better even if its just for a moment. I don't want the feeling to just last for a moment but a lifetime. Its just hard. Its extra extra hard especially since I never dealt with anything in my life. I would usually just put it in the back of my mind and leave it there.

The thoughts of cutting and purging is really hard to deal with sometimes especially when the desire comes and you know wat is wrong and wat is right. I have been praying abuot these feelings and I know wat the answer is its just like I do but i don't want to follow it like really. Like I just want to to all stop. I want the spinning to stop.