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BC Beneke



Last Updated: 11/18/2009

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Gender: Male
Status: Married
Age: 37
City: LE SUEUR
State: Minnesota
Country: US

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October 29, 2009 - Thursday 7:35 PM

Current mood:  contemplative
Category: Writing and Poetry

Petrified sacrificial angel doll

Brush a cheek, a soft lipped kiss

Fractured forever in a memory never made

Porcelain turned to flesh, left

In a photographic wish of youth

Drowning in blue eyes and soft curls

My face in the nape of your neck

Never happened, but my mind digresses

As my soul transgresses so many miles

So many years, so much time

I just wanted what was never mine

Just wanted… my angel to come to life

.. ..

Two in an eight-billion chance

A romance in happenstance that didn’t happen

A heart still held, feelings still felt

Feeling so damn real that they couldn’t be

Because perfection’s infection

Would have left me dead, and gone

But I’m still lingering

With a love on hold

.. ..

Just a ghost of a chance

A romance in happenstance that didn’t happen

The only way to rub two sticks together

When this one’s all alone is to break it again

So there’s no chance for a spark

I expect, just a broken heart in retrospect

With a thought that refuses to die

No matter how much time, or how far it flies

.. ..

Maybe I should burn your photo

Rip your picture to tiny pieces like my dreams

From 20 years ago, dead and gone, and all so wrong

But I’ll be damned if they didn’t feel right

And don’t feel right again tonight

What should I do to make you leave me alone

Like you left me alone so long ago

Burning like hell with this fucking memory

Of a love that was more one sided

Than masturbation in a mirror

Currently listening:
Kind of Blue (Legacy Edition)
By Miles Davis
Release date: 2009-01-20
Signe

 
Hello, my friend.  I haven't been to your blog in ages.  First it was you weren't posting, then it was I wasn't reading.  Well, it is nice to come back and read something so honest it hurts.   Maybe it is the fact i can relate that hurts.   Maybe it is just my perception allowing it  to hurt and be familiar.     Thanks for posting.

 
Posted by Signe on October 29, 2009 - Thursday - 8:34 PM
[Reply to this
BC Beneke

 
we allow ourselves the pain
 
Posted by BC Beneke on October 29, 2009 - Thursday - 8:43 PM
[Reply to this
sadness dances in her eyes

 
i have felt this many times and find myself revisiting those memories over and over again....seems the pain is all we have left at times...  a great write  :) 

 
Posted by sadness dances in her eyes on October 30, 2009 - Friday - 12:18 AM
[Reply to this
BC Beneke

 
yes, the funny thing is that I have a pretty great life, my wife is beautiful, she's smart, and she has a wonderful heart.   My kids are damn near perfect.  I own my own business, I have no reason for these feelings... it's like they are haunting me.
 
Posted by BC Beneke on October 30, 2009 - Friday - 12:33 AM
[Reply to this
Why I Otter

 
Haunts sneak up on us at times BC , the questions find there way through our veins ..no matter what you do ..these are memories locked in your mind ..xo m
 
Posted by Why I Otter on October 30, 2009 - Friday - 1:12 AM
[Reply to this
Seeker of Truth
Sandra Glodrey

 
Hmm., yes, been there!!! 

 
Posted by Seeker of Truth on October 30, 2009 - Friday - 3:25 PM
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e_piphany

 
Your words are always powerfully written and so heart felt.  It is so hard to put into words the sadness and memories that are stirred sometimes.  Pictures torn into thousand pieces, tickets kept for a memory, poems written for someone who will never read them, all for what?  A few moments of reverie??? Striking ending.  Spent but never bought... 
 
Posted by e_piphany on October 30, 2009 - Friday - 7:16 PM
[Reply to this
Ramona

 

But I’m still lingering

With a love on hold


Another good one, BC

thanks for sharing


 
Posted by Ramona on October 30, 2009 - Friday - 10:02 PM
[Reply to this
Surendra
Surendra Tapuriah

 
Me too...
"still lingering

With a love on hold"

.. ..


 
Posted by Surendra on October 31, 2009 - Saturday - 6:31 AM
[Reply to this
Valerie

 
Priceless.
 
Posted by Valerie on October 31, 2009 - Saturday - 12:52 PM
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Running Horse

 
Hey! you got your speak on. real talk that flies in the mist of dreams and shapes the brad of today.
To tear her picture would be to deny yourself a second, a moment ,a day,a lifetime of fantasy moments. These memories are real fantasy, maybe maybe not. What defines you my friend. When you get down to the living and tasting of life one-sided or not, the meaning has the definition of who you are becoming and the understanding that it's ok to love in Fantasy. If you break the rules...Fix them. Does not matter whom you fall in love with, even if the love is not reciprocal. The fact that you could feel, is what matters more than any other emotion. The fire that burns is the fire of sensitive and this fire is pure.
To be a great artist we must let go of our fears of what others may think and write for ourselves, not the reader. It's not up to us to explain what we mean when we lay down words or how they fit
inside our puzzle.
Your friend Running Horse

 
Posted by Running Horse on November 4, 2009 - Wednesday - 7:04 PM
[Reply to this
Kimberly

 
"You should have kept on running, when you seen it coming"  I am working on another song ot two with someone from back home.

 
Posted by Kimberly on November 5, 2009 - Thursday - 10:00 PM
[Reply to this