I sent this e-mail out to promote my 11/30/06 show at Toad.

I'll be playing at Toad (Porter Square, Cambridge) tomorrow evening from 7-9. As usual I'll be playing tenor sax and I'll be joined this week by Ryan Claunch on piano, Lou Ulrich on bass and Dave Mattacks on drums. It would be great to see you there.
If you've received these e-mails from me in the past, you've come to expect some editorial content, satire or buffoonery. So, as I'm sitting down to write this I realized that I had no idea what I would write about. I could go on a tirade about the Bush administration's Iraq policy or the Pope's visit to Turkey, but since this is the last one of these for a while, I wanted to keep it light.
I've decided to weigh in on the recent debacle in Danvers. No, not the factory explosion that displaced hundreds of people and changed a neighborhood forever, I'm going to chime in on the ruse that the North shore YMCA pulled off at its annual gala.
At the Ferncroft Hotel in Danvers, kind hearted philanthropists gathered fo raise money for the North Shore YMCA, an organization that provides valuable services to thousands of disadvantaged children. For the ticket price of $125 attendees were promised a silent and live auction, dinner, a tax deduction and a special guest. Having suffered through many such "Galas" as a musician, the suspense for me would of been wondering which former third string Bruins defenseman or weekend meteorologist would be the special guest, but somehow the planners of this event managed to create a real buzz. Everyone was curious why the guest's identity was such a big secret. The guest was supposed to appear at 8:00. No guest. At 8:30 it was announced that the guest would be entering the room. All eyes turned to the door with the spotlight shining on it. The music starts, the door opens and ... oh my God ... its ..... Tina - Freaking - Turner!!!!!! Camera phones are flashing, women are screaming, and middle aged men are bidding wildly for the chance to dance on stage with Tina as one of her Tin-ettes. The show ends with a rousing rendition of Proud Mary with the Tin-ettes dancing epilecticly. Everyone is wowed. They all went home that night and woke up their kids to tell them that they had just partied with Tina Turner. Their kids all asked "Who's Tina Turner?"
A couple of days later the Salem News reported that Tina was actually Hollie Vest, a Tina Turner impersonator from Las Vegas. YMCA board member Paul Sullivan told The Salem News he'd be seeking his money back. "I wouldn't expect the Y to stoop to this type of behavior," he said. " I'm very surprised, and I'm disappointed."
Hey Paul - I know Tina's star has fallen a little since her Private Dancer days but I don't think she's doing the YMCA fundraiser circuit. "She had the deep voice like Tina Turner, and looked and dressed like her," said Paul Gorman , chief development officer for the YMCA North Shore. "I thought that, you know, there are a lot of influential people on the North Shore who have contacts. So, you never know." Yes you do. What amazes me about this story is not how gullible people are when they really want to believe something, but that the impersonator was good enough to fool anyone.
I once played one of these "galas" and was entertained by a large cast of celebrity impersonators. I even got to hang out with some of them before the show. I learned that "Rodney Dangerfield's" real name was Sam, "Barbara Striesand's" "real name" was Chasity and "Liza Minnelli's" real name was Mike. I learned that " Niel Diamond" had recently suffered a mild stroke, but was back on the circuit. First to perform was the "Rat Pack." "Sammy Davis Jr" was a white Episcopalian, "Dean Martin" was sober, and "Frank Sinatra", while in fine voice, was a fat bald guy. When "Rod Stewart" sang "If you Think I'm Sexy" no one did except Mike. My point is, none of these impersonators, as earnest and well meaning as they were, looked anything at all like who they were impersonating, except for Mike, who was spot on. Near the end of the show, I was at the bar, minding my own business, drinking a beer, dressed in my tuxedo, trying not to watch as "Neil Diamond" sang Sweet Caroline, the left side of his body dragging the right side of his body around the stage like it was an attack dog, when this guy pokes me on the shoulder and says "Excuse me, but with all due respect, who are you supposed to look like?" I turned my head slowly, gave him my very best "don't you know who I am" look for as long as I could stand it, and answered "Nipsey Russell."