I've seen six movies so far in August... including the TERRIBLE G.I. Joe.
G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra - There was nothing great about G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra, but there was a lot that was terrible… this is going to be a long review. I’ll start by saying that I grew up with the classic G.I. Joe cartoon… this movie bears almost no similarity to it. I’ll start with the casting; Channing Tatum as Duke was the worst… the guy is a terrible actor and he bears no resemblance to the classic Duke Character. You might remember Tatum from those terrible Step Up movies. Sienna Miller looks great as the Baroness, but her acting is terrible… she couldn’t even do an accent. I actually liked Christopher Eccleston as James McCullen, the man who will become Destro. Marlon Wayans plays a character named Ripcord; he bears no resemblance in appearance or personality to the Ripcord character from the cartoon/comics… and he’s kinda annoying. He’s constantly hitting on Scarlett (played by Rachel Nichols), and of course his efforts annoyingly pay off in the end. Dennis Quaid is fine as Hawk. Joseph Gordon-Levitt was an all right character up until the point that I found out he was supposed to be Cobra Commander and not some random evil doctor… he bears no resemblance the classic masked '80s icon. As for the plot, the storyline about the history between Duke and the Baroness is terrible and extremely annoying not only because there is no chemistry between them, but it’s just predictably bad writing. As for the special effects, most of them look incredibly fake… like they are computer graphics, which, of course, they are. When in motion, all the futuristic vehicles, as well as the accelerator suits (which are a stupid idea), look super fake. All the action sequences are poorly shot and, as such, are very empty and forgettable. Storm Shadow and Snake Eyes (played by Byung-hun Lee and Ray Park) are actually decent characters, but their fight scenes are so poorly shot that I can’t say much about them. There are a handful of references to the original cartoon that I enjoyed… sadly, these small references are among the few things that make this recognizable as G.I. Joe and not just some poorly produced special forces movie. There is also a thing about Cobra Commander using mind control on all is underlings which was super lame. Oh, Zartan also makes an appearance in the film… he’s not terrible, but he could have been much better. I could go on, but I’m sure those of you that do not know the cartoon have already stopped reading. The movie was terrible. D
Inglorious Bastards – Inglorious Bastards was an enjoyable movie, but it didn’t blow me away. As always, writer/director Quentin Tarentino’s dialogue is great, but this time I thought there were time it seemed a bit overindulgent, and I wanted it to get back to the story. The movie follows two plots to sabotage a Nazi event, and of course the plots come together (in a way) by the end. Though it’s a movie set in historical times, it’s undoubtedly a work of pure fiction. In typical Tarentino fashion, it is a brutal movie, but not gratuitously so. Also in typical Tarentino fashion, the characters who make it to the end might not be the ones you expect. Inglorious Bastards is far superior to Munich, the other high-profile movie about Jewish revenge. A couple final notes: the music was too loud, and for some reason, some of the subtitles were not in English. B
District 9 – I was quite disappointed in District 9… not to say it was bad, but it could have been so much more. The effects very good, especially considering there were so many computer-generated alien effects. I think my biggest problem was with the lead character, Wikus Van De Merwe (played by Sharlto Copley), was not likable. By the end, he started to become a hero, but for most of the movie I thought he was an annoying, sniveling wimp. I also thought the cinematography was terrible. The movie started out being shot in a rough documentary style, but they left this idea behind when it was necessary to show what the aliens were doing in private, and yet the crappy camera work continued. It’s an interesting move, and there are defiantly some hidden messages in there (which it does not ram down the viewer’s throat), but it just wasn’t nearly all I’d hoped from the previews and subject matter. C+
Halloween 2 – There was absolutely nothing outstanding about Halloween 2. If you liked the second half of the last Rob Zombie directed Halloween film, then you will like this one because that’s pretty much all it is, slash and kill with very little story. The first movie did some pretty good character development with Michael Myers, but in this one he’s just a killing machine with no deeper characteristics. He does have visions of his dead mother and his younger self, but this only serves to be annoying and does nothing to develop him as a three-dimensional character. As for the people he kills, though they are more developed then Michael Myers, most of them are very annoying and I didn’t care if they all died. Just like in the first film, Rob Zombie is inept when it comes to writing hip dialogue, like the totally contrived conversation about “Starvin’ Marvin.” Malcolm McDowell returns as Dr. Samuel Loomis… even though I thought he died in the first film… and it seems his near death experience turned him into a jerk. One last note, the hospital segment at the beginning of the film is very lame and predictable. C-
Taking Woodstock – The first half of Taking Woodstock was all right, but then second half, when the concert was actually occurring, dragged on and on. Perhaps someone who lived through that time in history, or who was in the hippie culture would appreciate Elliot Tiber (played by Demetri Martin) having all those new and exciting experiences, but I did not. I liked the parts about the townspeople have issues with Elliot for what he’s brought there, and seeing all the problems that lead up to the concert. Elliot’s mother (played by Imelda Staunton) seemed over the top. It’s possible that the character she was based on really was that weird, but it seemed like a little too much comic relief in a movie that is quite serious most of the time. The actors that lived in the barn were just weird... but once again, it’s possible they were based on real people. C-
The Time Travel’s Wife – The Time Travel’s Wife was the surprise of the month; I was expecting very little, but what I got was so much more the a love story. This movie really had its temporal mechanics figured out. Movies that deal with time travel usually make mistakes, they contradict themselves, or create paradoxes, or they just break their own rules; this movie did not. Eric Bana does well as Henry, the time traveler. My biggest complaint was that the wife character, Clare (played by Rachel McAdams) was such a selfish character. At one point she wants a child, and no matter what the cost to their potential offspring, she just doesn’t care, it’s all about her. She thinks she’s the biggest victim of her husband’s time traveling. McAdams plays the character well… it’s just she’s a selfish character. I didn’t know exactly how it was going to end, though there are some plot points that the preview gives away. This is definitely not a conventional love story, but it works quite well. B
Funny People – Ironically, Funny People is not a comedy, it’s a drama. My big issue with this film is that it’s being marketed as a comedy, and it isn’t! After director Judd Apatow’s last two hilarious films (The 40-Year-Old Virgin and Knocked Up), I went in expecting a comedy of that caliber… and thus I was disappointed to get a drama. There are a lot of laughs in it, but the underlined tone is most certainly that of a drama. Apatow’s films usually have point in the third act when they get more heavy and serious (because his movies are always about real characters with depth), but in Funny People, most of the film has this vibe. It defiantly has something to say about the world of comedy, and more specifically, the nature of fame. Adam Sandler, Seth Rogan, and the rest of the cast are good, and there are some laughs throughout, but it’s not a comedy. That being said, there are some pretty funny cameos. C
Orphan - I’m not really into to horror movies, but Orphan looked interesting, so I checked it out. It was decent, but there was too much stupidity in it for me to recommend it. As is often the case in this type of movie, the bad character, in this case Esther (played by Isabelle Fuhrman), somehow manages to easily execute her plans, and they always go exactly they way she wants (until the end) despite the implausibility of everything working out perfectly. Both parents have sporadic bouts of stupidity throughout the film. I did not like the rather graphic opening scene… unnecessary. However, I did like the plot twist at the end, even though I saw it coming quite early on in the film, it was a good plot twist and most people I’ve spoken to about it did not see it coming. What I didn’t like about the ending was that they had the cliché bad character that keeps coming back ending. It wasn’t a bad movie, I just can’t quite recommend Orphan. C-
Julie & Julia – The performances in Julie & Julia are very good, but the movie itself I just all right. I wonder if someone who likes food would appreciate this movie more… I have an aversion to food, but there were audible responses from the audience when the food was shown (I did not understand this). It’s a nice little film, with nice little stories. Meryl Streep was very good as Julia Child; I found her voice annoying at times, but I have to think that I would have found the real Julia Child just as annoying. It was good that the story jumped between Julia Child and Julie Powell (played by Amy Adams) cooking all Julia’s recipes, so the audience didn’t get too much of either story. I would have liked to have seen Julia Child give her opinion on Julie… yes, there was some indication of it, but I would like to have seen her give a reaction, even if it was just to the reporter that later spoke to Julie. Perhaps they didn’t really know the context of what she said, or they didn’t show it because she actually did hate Julie and that would have ended her story on a sour note. C
(500) Days of Summer - I was pleasantly surprised by (500) Days of Summer; I went into it knowing almost nothing about it. I knew Zooey Deschanel was in it, and that it was getting good reviews. I was a bit disappointed when I discovered that the star was Joseph Gordon-Levitt as I’ve never cared for him, I don’t find him likable, but Zooey is always incredible charming and she made up for him. Zooey plays Summer, and the movie tells the non-liner story of the five-hundred days sense Tom (played by Gordon-Levitt) met her. The writing is excellent. The structure of the film, the way it jumps around, works really well; movies that do this can often be really choppy, but that was not the case here. I loved then ending; this movie really has a message to say about live and love, and that I think a lot of people can relate to it. (500) Days of Summer is a movie that stays with you after you see it. B+
The Ugly Truth – The Ugly Truth is one of those movies that are predictable from start to finish… but it does what it does well, and I enjoyed it. There was good chemistry between Gerard Butler as the cynical and chauvinistic Mike Chadway and Katherine Heigl as the all business producer Abby Richter, which is the most important thing in this type of film. And there were laughs throughout the film. There was a moment in the middle of the movie when I though the movie might take an unconventional path, but in the end, there are no surprises. As I said, it was very predictable… yet I still recommend it. B-