It's been a long while since I last posted. Lots of things have happened with my house and such. Things have been crazy. I'm SO done with planning my wedding too... just not interested that's all. blah. I have so much stuff to do about my wedding... music, order of service, guest list (yeah, don't ask, it's still not even final)... I'm just so done with all of it. Let me show up in my white dress and walk down the isle.

But one thing is just peachy.

The love of my life.

I was typing an e-mail to a friend today and I mentioned how we went to our pre-marital counseling session today and we were talking about how we met and how things progressed from "he's kinda cute but I'm SO not interested..." to that giddy infatuated 'I can't breathe when you're around' type relationship, to where we are right now. Staring marriage in the face.

I think Dennis hates when I blog because I 'share my life with the world' which is full of scary people and stalker types and yada yada. Well good thing he never reads it because this one's about him...

I love him. Ridiculously. Like it's not even sane. I don't want to be without him ever. I don't want to 'do life' without him. Some people ask me, "why are you getting married so young... you've got your entire life ahead of you!" but honestly, why would I want to do 'my entire life' without the person I love most in the whole world? I can't bear to think about it. Honestly I can't think about anything ever happening to him because I'm afraid life would cease to exist. Yes, that makes no sense, but that's how I feel! It's wonderful and depressing all at the same time, knowing I'm so dependant on someone else for fulfillment. It doesn't sound right typed out. There just isn't expression for it.

But I love him. I love him with 'sweatpants' love. You know? Like you spend a large part of the first part of your relationship putting on makeup and looking good and trying to impress and being facetious and laughing at jokes that really aren't funny....
And two years later, here we are and I'm running around the house in paint-splatter sweatpants with drywall dust in my unwashed hair, trying to not burn dinner and clearing the dogs off the table (yes, the table)... and he loves me too. The other day he said to me out of the blue while we were standing in the kitchen "I'm committed to you" and I was like what on earth are you talking about... and he says "well, love is so vague and people throw the word love around all the time. But I'm committed to you. That's love." There's not much else in the world better. And as he leaves my house and I want to cry, even knowing I'll see him in less than 24 hours... but there's just not enough time in the day. I can't get enough of him. I love him so much. It's glorious and intoxicating.

And yes, he does leave the toilet seat up sometimes.