Life is so strange. At one moment you can be miseable, the next totally overjoyed.  I guess my life is  no different that any other, there are times in my life I would do over if I could. Overall I guess I'm happy with how I turned out. I mean hell, I could have turned out a whole lot worse. I wonder sometimes how my life could have been different if I had made this decision rather than that one, of course it's easier to say this was a bad idea or that was a good one, 10 years later! I guess time gives you that perspective. I think that whats happened to me makes me stronger( LOL cliche!!!) but I wouldnt' wish it apon anyone else. Being in a bad relationship for 3 years kinda makes you glad ( cough*when its over*cough). er.. thats not what I mean... I mean, it gives you time to realize whats inportant in life and what is not. I guess I could just be a loser now, living at home. But I have a great relationship with my parent, its almost like living with friends, but hell anything is better than before.  I've seen my share of ups and downs. I don't really concider this so much of a down, but a transitional part of my life. Get my life squared. Pay off bills, (hopefully not live here til I'm 28*cough*) I guess sometimes life just needs to slow down, and give you time to breathe. I wonder if everyone else wonder how things could have been... I think about the past constantly. I guess I never really stop. I guess if I could stop time or reverse it, I think I'd rather be in school. (not that I liked school itself) They say the best years of your life are in school, not mine. I would like to go back, just because I think I screwed up my life the worst when I was in school. Never really did anything worthwhile or did anything I'm truly proud of. I think like was just easier back then, in the sense that everything was so black and white, wrong or right... well most of the time, and now everythings so grey. Things just kinda fell into place for me back then. Too many forks in the road, hopeing this one was better than the road you're currently on. The worst thing is sometimes you take the wrong road, or take too many forks, when just staying the coarse would have made you happy in the end. Stupid kids, gotta have it all, gotta win at everything. sometimes, just sometimes, staying put, being happy, can be the ends... and you shouldn't worry about the means. Its sad to actually believe life is all about the journey and not the destination, but I guess when you're so focused on the destination then the journey doesn't matter. The meaning of life is just that, enjoy the journey cuz if you don't the destination doesn't matter.