The Horror that had befallen me, had now became a mere nightmare, a dream that was burnt into my brain, like a scalpel left in a kids heart, an Obese man who choked on a Mc D's Burger, I was mentally scared, Physically traumatized, a teenager, who had suffered through so much turmoil these past months.. For that matter my whole life leading up to this point, so I had sought out freedom. Today was my birthday, I had turned 14, I had stayed home these past few month's, it was more a relief than being in that hospital, I felt to much like a resident in that place, being feed daily by the most horrible food that i have ever had, almost as bad as the food my mother used to feed me, their was this nurse, who I had a crush on, The only positive thing about being in there. She'd always come in an see how i was, sneak in desserts and decent food, that the hospital would never allow,(Yes I’m sure you can relate, food of death, cooked by fat chef's who themselves sanitize everything or douse it in urine, not enough pay for them to even bother feeding the Ill and dying) My Nurse was very young about in her early 20's or so, a fiery brunette, huge breast's, perky and edible and legs that went up into her very short hospital skirt, the sweatiness dripping from that area, was so lustful, I could feel my own sexuality beginning to grow, expanding like a balloon, but with her delicious bright red lips around the tip.

Dreams of her kept devouring my own thoughts, perversions of a young teen and his first crush, It felt like I was losing control but she was the only reason why I wanted to be in that cursed place, with sick, smelly, dying people. It was awful the smell of their stench, rotting my youthful lungs, the horror of grotesque human beings laying in their own filth, reverting back to there baby nature and having someone clean it up for them at night I was horrified more, scared some sort of entity would come in the room and either devour me or brutally murder me, I even began remembering the mad man, who slaughtered that family with a sword, expecting to see him dressed in a black shroud with a sickle instead of a sword, tearing my flesh apart bit by bit as i lay there half unconscious or even aware that the sadist was enjoying my pain, gaining some sort of pleasure, by playing with my insides with that sinister sickle, blood spurting onto his violent stature and laughing madly, the horror of my dreams kept consuming me for months, to only think that in future Carol and Jason threw me an exciting birthday party, since i hadn’t been at school it was only us four, i didn’t mind it though, I guess knew that this moment would be the only point of existence of happiness, in my entire life, without even thinking about it, I could feels the changes, some say it was puberty! But I always believed till this very day... that it was a premonition. Not to wreck anymore of the events that befall me after my birthday or the experiences that i later suffer through out my school years, I shall go backward in time a bit, only a few months and to conclude my fascination with my sweet nurse ohh and don't you worry readers of the abyss this will keep you entertained a bit more or a bit less if which i certainly hope that you have abandoned all reading pleasure, for your eyes, mind and sexual organs may have had to much intercourse in the very first chapter and here we are, not even half way. Do you dear me to continue, for if you have not yet been put into an asylum or had committed suicide from what i have revelled to you all. Now where was I then ahh yes The Nurse what’s to say! she worked fulltime, spent most her time looking after these sick people, lived at home with a dog, blah blah blah, drove to her work in an upbeat brown station wagon, obliviously not getting paid enough to be here, but she does it anyway, for she hopes to help those in need, much like the hard candy underneath this drape of a cloth that I’m wearing, all these sexual thoughts entering my head, wanting to see her naked or catching a glimpse of her breast, almost falling out of that skimpy top of hers, I then started to have an apthany!! I had started thinking the way my uncle had thought, I began freaking out that I was going to become exactly like him, (Womanizing Psychopath) the nurse saw me panicking, she came in to check me, lent over where i saw her bare breasts hanging out more closer than the usual times that I hoped to catch a view like this, the motion of my heart beating tenfold, the blood flowing only to my sexual organ, my eyes blurred and i became faint... Shortly after i came to, she was still checking me in a similar position, she had asked me if i was ok, i could still barely speak or if i had tried i would've sounded like a blown rock singers voice after screaming for hours. As I could just watch her movements, my thoughts became perverse, an uncanny eruption of words, feelings and visions that had no names yet or for that matter didn’t even exist or was probably illegal.

Days in and out i felt like a stalker in a room, watching observing, I felt like apart of my innocence was lost, damaged... It wouldn’t recover as far as i was concerned; maybe death to me seemed like an easy way out than surviving this traumatic experience. So I felt and thought in my first month here. My nurse, oh my sweet beautiful nurse if not for your salvation, i would've surely ended my existence by jumping out the window. The few times looking down to the ground, imagining what it would look like when I’m falling, hitting the ground with an impact, splatter on your local dinner whore, would anyone miss me? I had no real parents, family so the question in my mind was who would truly care another death, people off themselves all the time another statistic in the world of unimportance... I also questioned religion (Not that i believed in it in the first place) But my eyes where more open, i had became more aware of the world and all this falseness... To think schools were a dictation, parent Nazis and Slaves of religion, death in general being some sort a farce, a power trip put humans into fear, afraid to live a little, thinking that some great being would send them to a fiery pit called Hell... Close your eyes for a second and truly think and i mean actually think, I’m not telling you all how to live, how to eat, how to shit, sleep, breathe, read, watch, worship or even fuck, choices are up to you all, as my decision to live was not and i repeat NOT influenced in anyway by those god loving bible bashers (Yes they too came to visit me and try to convert me at my weakest, they seem to be attracted to those who have hit a dark moment in their life, Recovering Junkies, Satanists, Children, People grieving over the death of a lover or another etc), my reason to live was simple! To fuck the nurse repeatedly... fuck her over and over and over again till i stop, cant continue anymore then fuck her some more. spread those mouth watering legs and fuck her, make her scream, it wouldn’t be noticeable here with all the sick people that make a lot of noise, all the sick kids crying, they'll just think she’s a sick patient complaining, Yes i can see it in her look... she's a screamer.

The meaningless day dreams (wet dreams) of a young teenager, who has reached puberty, my first real crush, obsession, sadistic perversion, a lust of hope of her to notice me in a way where i can touch her in everyway perverse, A Disillusion from the world around me, it distorted into something so simple only me and her left. Is it wrong of me to have these feelings, the fact that I’m so conscious of understanding my uncle or even Bobby; i said it once the fear of turning into them, and maybe it’s not a bad thing...? So far i had been scarred physically and psychologically, abuse is my rebirth, a reincarnation into the being i shall become, I could benefit from this in a more positive manner and ignore it or even worse become more fearsome than Bobby or my uncle... It’s now your choice to decide! Salvation or destruction? My hospital experience gave me a new found interest... that interest being Sex! Even though in my mind i had my way with the nurse, constant dreams of taken her, and pummelling her with my constant hard erection, pressing into her moist flesh, piercing her in all positions that were in my mind, all unusual and even impossible for any man.. woman to do, something so harmless as what i dreamt were only the beginning of what moulds into sadistic violence and unnatural perversions of a boy yours truly Giles. A new year had begun, after a few months of being home schooled Jason and Carol had found a new school for me to go to, as they had felt the confidence in me to start anew, The shame of going back to my old one resulting in shame and fellow students onlooking me as if i was a freak, Children/ Teenagers can be more sinister to each other than a lot of people think, they'll attack the weakest in the pack, toy with them: mentally, (name calling, Rumours so on) and then physically (Throwing stones, being bullied etc) they can be like angry drunken midgets, much like there parents, its hard to say if they would be worse, the world we live in these days parents tend to be too lazy to actually look after their children or even accept responsibility for their child’s actions, they tend to have a nasty habit of finding a scapegoat to blame to solve all their problems, to pathetic and weak to deal with it, I realised this with my own former parents and my uncle... with that said, the age limit these years of having children is sad, girls at a tender age of 12 having babies, The sex education is obviously not getting out their message, lazily teaching the wrong things and even that the board of trusties even wanting to shut the entire program down in general... come on people where are your brains at... Has mankind forgotten how to think, society is going backwards as far as I’m concerned, The Monkey, the ....Man........ The Idiot. I myself shall admit, i had/ have and will continue to do all these things, but at least i can think, at least i can use a condom... what use is it pillaging young virgins, whores and all sorts, when you’ve got a kid to deal with, restrictions are not in my being (my DNA) and making a mistake like that would guarantee this book being shorter than expected, or boring for that matter. But then again, i have not even revelled to you everything, do you really think the story itself would be that predictable, come now do not assume unless this is your 2nd or 3rd read, or you’ve cheated and skipped pages to the exciting bits (ha). My return to school was an interesting one as i mentioned my mind was different, my view on the world was more simple...  the idea to fuck countless girls was needed to be feed, in the last year or so i had viewed the woman as a mere experiment before my horror with Bobby, Now my eyes were filled with a perverse new nature, deviant and created through my obsession with the ever so seductive nurse, I read in a paper that the very same nurse, who nurtured me back to my own salvation, to my own existence in the world.. had meet a certain horrible fate, she was being stalked by another one of her patients, his obsession much like my own went a bit to far (He turned what i imagined into a surreal reality)  he had followed her home one night, broke into her home while she was asleep, and kidnapped her, a search for her happened when she did not report into work the next evening, as investigators found her house was broken into and they had realised a struggle had happened, indications that she tried to fight back. blood was found on her bed sheets, they even ruled in murder, it didn’t take them long to find out who had kidnapped her, they found that she was kept in her captives basement, bound in a sadistic position, this was her final place where she was constantly raped and tortured for months till she gave in and he took her life, her beauty now tainted, scared. She gave into submission in the ultimate form by giving him the power to take her life, with that all he did was smile, her rotting carcass, was left in the basement with him still masturbating over it, to my amazement i was so surprised with how much detail the news had went into on this, some news reporters couldn’t physically say it on Television, but the network wanted it, the price of death for them equals high ratings and that means more salary in their filthy pockets.