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Current mood:  nostalgic Category: Life
So another year has come and gone and my birthday is again just around the corner (tomorrow actually). So much has happened, but I still kinda feel like life hasn't really STARTED yet. I love my life with Bill and the last six months have been absolutely the best of my life. The kids are getting so big and so damn smart! I started a new job that's decent...but definitly NOT what I want to be doing this time next year!! I may still be employeed there...but I really want to get my photography up and running. I've been pretty busy the past month thanks to Sheila and Tukker (thanx guys) and I've got a few shoots set up for next month. I feel closer to my family than I have in a long time..especially Jason since we've never really talked or hung out as much as we do now..I guess getting tattoos together was a good "bonding" experience ha ha. Oh and being there to witness Operation: Questionable Hookup ha ha..God bless Grace, Idaho!! I got brave enough to get a back piece started. Ouchtown..population: me!! I've started to own myself more. That is..I've started to embrace my inner nerd, my inner bitch, and my inner sappy girl, along with so much else within my own head and heart. I've apologized alot..I guess that means I've screwed up more than I should. I've put my foot down with Heather and not welcomed that snake into our home since the last phone call where she tried, yet again, to make me believe what a victim my "son of a bitch" husband makes her. She needs intensive therapy that's for sure..but until she can start acting at least semi-human around us, she's not stepping one inch over our threshold. I've made, and lost, a few friends either from my own stupidity or theirs. I just seem to attract needy people..which is fine, to a point but gets ridiculous and tiresome after a while and I just lose interest in trying to make people feel good about the horribly idiotic things they're doing to themselves and their children/families/friends. Ha ha...I got divorced and remarried this year..sounds bad but the divorce took freaking forever for whatever reason. The wedding was the best day ever!! I married my best friend..who gets to do that?? Not many people find love the way we have it. I didn't think I ever would. In the past, when I was angry with the one I was with I wanted to be as far away from them as possible, but with Bill..when I'm angry with him or he's angry with me there is nowhere else in the world I can dream of being but by his side or in his arms. I am absolutely proud to be his wife. I miss Papa alot...it's really gotten to me this year more than any other so far I think. I don't know why. It really makes me sad that he never got to meet the kids. They're so great! Greg is in 1st grade now and Caydee will start kindergarten next year..she's my little firecracker..I actually admire how strong she is!! I went and had lunch with Greg today..he was so happy to see me and I fear the day that he turns 13 and hates me ha ha..but seriously..he's such a good boy and I love him so much. Hopefully that won't happen..but our 13 year old now is quite the little handful. I pray to God every day for the patience to see it through and for him to start really seeing and trying to change what he is doing to this family by acting the way he does. We have Rachel more now, but until she's older we're going to be able to do very little about what Heather does to her physically and emotionally. I haven't been as active in church as I'd like, but I'm getting there. It really hit me hard when I was told that we have to wait until our marriage is blessed before I can take communion or go to confession. All in all, I think this year was pretty good. I'm excited to see what we can do in the year to come! I am thankful and very grateful for all that we have and all that we've been able to accomplish, and I'm very hopeful for all that we have planned! Anyway, thank you to everyone who has been a friend to me, I hope to continue old friendships and create new ones.
8:37 AM
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