It was a strange day not so long ago in San Francisco.  I was driving around in full fetish costume with my slave of the day, SubMissAnn (www.AskSubmissann.com).  She was sitting next to me in Mark's car awaiting an undisclosed destination for our own public display.  I had her well suited in rubber and locked up in a fiddle from Rigid Cuffs, (www.Cuff24.com).  It was like I was on a bizarre trip where I just jumped in the car casually to go grab some Fast Fetish Take Out.  I imagined driving up to the order window as I explain, "I'll have one order of Bondage with double Discipline... oh, and make sure you throw in a side of Fetish."  Food for thought, Huh?  Let me focus on what had prompted this topic of conversation. 

A few months back, Mark Burnley from Serious Bondage/Images (www.SeriousImages.com) called me to discuss what I thought was a very strange yet very cool request.   He wanted me to come by his studio in full rubber and take one of his visiting slaves for a public session out on the "Streets of San Francisco."  It was not until I met Mark back in 2006 that I started doing much fetish work outside.  He introduced me to stepping out beyond my late evening party ventures to full blown middle of the day rubber, fetish and bondage sessions.

So naturally, I had no problem accommodating Mark's request.  I adorned and dressed myself and got right over.  With some quick direction and my slave in tow, we drove all over SF; starting at the Serious Bondage Headquarters, stopping by Mr. S., and then ending up in the hills near the Golden Gate Bridge.  It was getting cold but we were able to get the shots we needed and had a super fun day.  There was more than one photographer that day, as 'normal" people ran for their cameras from their office buildings and cars as we made our rounds.  I wonder where those photos ended up; at least a water cooler conversation for some.

I don't know how many of you fantasize about putting your kink out there for public display, but I can tell you that I enjoy it thoroughly.  I do not like limiting myself to perverse expression only within the confines of 4-walls.  Certainly there is an appropriate time and a place for everything and I get that.  I do not ever intend to offend anyone.  I refrain from anything I would deem explicit and I have no desire to ruin any little kidlets minds with displays of things that cannot be "unseen."  Things must always be done responsibly.  In reality, the idea of taking my sexual fetish work outside does not seem so good when one considers it is public domain.  It does leave you wide open for ridicule, errors and judgment.  A lot of things that may not be weird to me are most clearly not the norm for the general public.  Even though it can be embarrassing and problematic, I believe the thrill is well worth it if you are cautious, respectful to others and careful.

All this being said, my desire to be seen is far greater then my fear of putting myself out there.  There is a certain amount of validation and freedom that I enjoy that has come with letting go of the rules of society and just being who I am.  I welcome you to entertain that idea once in awhile.  If you are ever cruising around Southern California and you see some bizarre rubber woman driving next to you or walking down the street, it is probably yours truly.  Even kinky fetish women need fresh air and have errands to run!  I know from experience that stepping out the front door in your rubber & fetish finest takes guts.  Even here in Hollywood, where the freaks run wild on any given weekend, it can still prove to be a challenge.  The bravest of the fetish party goers, kinky freaks, Goth punks and bizarre players may tend to get a bit nervous when heading out in full wardrobe to an event or gathering.  I know I used to get very uncomfortable on these evenings but thankfully I have gotten used to it.

I still remember my first time stepping out of the car in LA attending the Los Angeles Fetish Ball long ago, maybe 1998 or so.  I think I ran from the cab to the front doors.  I was so afraid I was going to be ridiculed and not fit in.  The counterpoint to that fear was quite a positive experience.  I was rewarded for my bravery in the form of an intense thrill and rush.  By going forward and conquering my fear I was able to go outside to get inside my first major fetish party.  Subsequently, I enjoyed one of the best fetish experiences of my life (at that time).  With the snap of my fingers I was inside a gorgeous building and the beat and aura of sex charged anthems filled my head.  Rubber, leather and bizarre characters were everywhere.  Suddenly everything had changed.  My street anxiety, controlled excitement and nervousness switched to sheer awe as I was surrounded by like minded fetish inspired freaks.  All these people seemed to be enjoying my brand of sexuality and in an instant I was comfortable again.

What I realized later that evening, was that not at any moment the rest of the night did I feel as excited as when I was outside stepping out of the cab to get into the party.  Outside I felt as if I were amongst the wolves of society, ready to attack me at any moment.  There is a certain charge that cannot be matched when you are afraid.  I liken it to being strapped down in severe bondage, waiting for your Mistress or Master to flick you with their crop in the most sensitive of places.  Will it be harsh and painful or just kiss your skin with the faintest of touch?  Either way, it does not really matter (but I secretly always hope for the pain so I can regret it).  When there is some true fear and trepidation you are most certainly engaged in the moment.  That is why I like and enjoy venturing outside now and then.  When we are amongst like minded friends on the inside where everything we do becomes normal you may discover it suddenly is normal.  I do not always like that. 

Comfortable is not always my cup of tea.  I want to be deeply engaged and real in the moments of any fetish experience that I am having.  Sometimes taking it out into the "normal" world now and then keeps me remembering what a delightfully strange sexual fetish I have.  It keeps me fresh and dispels my own fear that maybe I am becoming to normal.  We all need to keep our senses on high alert.  That is probably half the reason we do what we do.  Our fetish goes so far beyond sex so why not experiment more?  Try venturing out to a party or event for starters.  Get dressed at home and take a cab there.  At the very least it will be interesting.  Taking things outside of your normal routine could be very exciting once in awhile.  You might like it more then you think.  You are a fetishist after all, right?

XOXO
Gwen