I'm really excited about seeing the new movie RAMBO in January. Originally, it was titled "John Rambo" in order to get it in line with Stallone's last movie, "Rocky Balboa."

Along with these movies as well as "Die Hard With A Vengeance," could this be a new trend in movies? You know, older actors re-visiting old characters and playing their age? I've heard that this will also be done in the new Indiana Jones movie, so if this IS a trend, allow me to pitch a few ideas:


IVAN DRAGO (alt. title—"Ivan Drago Saves Christmas"):

After his humiliating defeat at the hands of Rocky Balboa (an event that spurred the end of the Cold War,) which we see as flashback/montage/re-hash during opening credits, we find the 2008 Ivan Drago living a life of relative solitude in an Eastern Orthodox monastery in southern Azerbaijan, haunted by the memories of what was and what could have been, his only solace watching the children at play in the neighboring village.

It comes to our hero's attention that some of the children have disappeared. Our hero then uncovers a child slavery ring, where kids from the local villages have been sent south to the Iranian coast of the Caspian Sea, where an evil Arab ex-boxer is using the slave labor at his fishery, forcing the children to make caviar.

Ivan Drago infiltrates the fishery on Christmas Eve, saves the children, and defeats the evil Iranian kingpin, while sustaining a fatal injury, causing the newly-freed children to join hands and sing a goodbye carol to their (and our!) fallen hero, who expires with a peaceful look in his eyes.


SONNY MALONE (alt. title--- "Xanadu II – Ragnarok"):

Sonny and Kira have lived in loving bliss for many years on Mt. Olytmpus, even producing a son- who enters his teen-angst phase and leaves his home in 2012, venturing into the real world and starting a metal band called "Gotterdammerung."

Gotterdammerung becomes incredibly successful and climbs the charts, gaining the attention of Loki (the evil Norse trickster god), who plots to use the popular music to open the gates of the abyss on the day when the Mayan calendar ends, ushering in Armageddon.

Sonny and Kira return in roller-skates and ELO music merges with metal to create a virtual love-fest of cinematic delight, thwarting the plot of the evil gods. The world is saved, boy gets girl, and a CGI Gene Kelly becomes the new god of dance.


TONY MANERO (alt. title--- "Saturday Night Survivin' "):

After a somewhat successful Broadway career whose origins we saw in "Staying Alive," Tony Manero is a washed-up has-been running a dance school on the lower East Side.

His fortunes change when the producers of America's favorite reality show on Saturday night, "Dancing with the Big Time" approach Tony about partnering with one of the celebrities for the new season.

The trouble begins when Tony ends up getting partnered with America's most troubled female celebrity (think Britney-meets-Lindsay-meets-Paris), whom Tony must then mentor, not only in the ways of dance, but also in how one must be true to themselves, never throw away their dreams, and keep Staying Alive!



Allright. If any producers out there are interested in these gems, give me a call. Operators are standing by....