...... There is no BPPM again this weekend. For once, Cal hit us up a day early to let us know. Usually he waits until the last possible minute to confirm, and that used to drive me crazy. Now that I know so early, I realize that I have no back up plans for the weekend. Part of the excitement of the BPPM is the anticipation of if there is actually going to be one.
        As per usual, I'll go back to Thursday. Thursday morning I was able to get in the bathroom in the morning. That's a big deal around here. There's always people in there for whatever reason. It's like I live at the hotel where I work. Anyway, I got in there, got a shave, and a shower. I got a good look at myself in the mirror in there, and I don't like what's going on here. I refuse to have a mid-life crisis. I see Salt has joined a gym, and gotten into to taking amino acids in the mornings. He's like, "Join the gym man!" everytime I see him. I think that it's good that he gets in the gym. I know I should exercise more, but I never dug communal situations. I like to do my suffering in solitude.
       Funny thing though, is I don't really eat that much, and I have been paying more attention to my diet lately. I've stopped with the microwave popcorn completely, and it wasn't as hard as I thought it would be. I read something about "popcorn lung", and that just ruined it for me.
       Anyway, back to Thursday. Anytime I can get a shave and shower before I hit the ground running is a precursor to a beautiful day. So I get dressed, and head out to the 64 bus. I get to the clinic a half hour early. Doc Israel comes in about 45 minutes after that. He's dressed like Thurston Howell in a little blue blazer, and khaki pants. He struggles in the door carrying a bunch of rather large frozen turkeys. Then he waves to me and apologizes for being tardy, then he heads back out the door only to return with more frozen turkeys.
         I have no idea what that's all about. I just know that it would be nice to be seen early so I could get out of there and catch up with Manda Panda for lunch. Then like clockwork she texts me and cancels for the day. It's raining outside, and I have a meeting with Felice at two o'clock, so it's a good thing I suppose.
          I see Aisha the receptionists sitting behind the desk. She still hasn't resolved the issue with her glasses. Last week she told me that they got broken or something, and that she can't really see her hand in front of her face. She has to lean way in to her monitor to read what's going on. She looks really vulnerable. She has big pretty eyes like Dianna Ross when she was with the Supremes. She looks funny without her glasses though. I was going to say something, but why bother?
       I went upstairs with Doc Israel. I hate that dimly lit staircase. Before you get to the staircase, there is a door with an electric combination lock on it. He has to punch in a code before you can get to the staircase. 3-2-1 is the code. In case you ever have to break in or out of there. He does a poor job of concealing the digits as he presses them. He tries to do it really fast. Ha Ha.
       I always have to go up the stairs first. It seens like they add an extra step everytime I come back there. When I get to the top of the stairs, I see Dr. Slap in his office on the left. He's always having his lunch of a soft pretzel when I walk by. He's like 90 years old, and the pretzel looks like a heavy brick in his hand the way he trembles when he puts it up to his mouth. I like to pretend that everytime I see him in there, he is still sitting there eating the same pretzel from the week before. This always makes me laugh. Doc Israel always thinks I'm happy about something. He always assumes it's a woman. NOPE.
           So I sit by the middle window like I always do. The air conditioner is at my back. There's a bird's nest on top of it. The baby birds are crying. Doc Israel says that there was a tragedy this morning. That one of the patients there murdered his wife this morning, and then attempted to kill himself. What does that mean, attempted? Why don't these people kill themselves first. That way they can spend more time making sure they kill themselves. Seems like that would be an easy feat.
         So then Doc Israel gives me a long lesson about evolution, and missing, and extra chromosomes in people. I always thought that extra chromosomes gave people super powers. They just give you extra fingers, or gigantisism. That sucks. I wasn't really into this session. I know who Pavlov is, and I can't understand why this amazes the doctor.  I'm not stupid. I should start wearing a sign around my neck.
        Then for no reason at all, I start thinking about Eala, and how we haven't communicated in a year or more. I think it's fascinating that we have never spoken on the phone. I keep saying that I'm going to post a message on her Myspace, but my computer is running so slow these days. I also need to call April.
         So before I know it, the session is over. he's handing me that paper to sign, and he's getting me the soft pretzels he gives me every week to give to my mother. We talk about Love and Luxury for a second. I mention that I am excited about the new labels. The new heat sealer I ordered from Amazon.com had arrived earlier that morning, and since noone was expecting a package from UPS they didn't bother to answer the door when the driver rang. I was in the shower. I would go on about being surrounded by idiots, but who would want to hear about that?
         So anyway, Doc Israel says that I have again made perfect attendance this year. It's my second time. Usually he gives me a certificate that is not suitable for framing. It looks like the one they tear out of that book when you complete the 100 book challenge in elementary school. What's so hard about keeping appointments? Anyway he forgot to fill it out, so I have to wait until next week to put it on the refrigerator.
        Then he presents me with one of the turkeys. It's fucking huge. It weighs like 30 pounds. I am thankful for the turkey. I guess that's all you can say about being given a turkey. I'm sure my mother will make some awesome chicken salad out of it, and soup. Maybe she'll put it in that ridiculous turkey smoker that is still sitting in the middle of the kitchen floor.
         As I came down from the doctor's office, I saw Taj sitting in the waiting room. I was just thinking about her the day before because I have that new Chris Cornell c.d. for her. We sit and talk for a few, and compare new cell phones. I take a picture of her with mine so I can put her picture with her phone number. I think it's cool that you can see the person's face when they dial you. She takes a picture of me, and then shows me a picture she took of her boyfriend. He's wearing coveralls, and he has them zipped down to his pubes. He's shirtless, and he has all kinds of muscle definition going on. I think it's nice that she has this pic on her phone, but I can't understand why she needs to show ME this. Maybe because she's happy. I won't be a douche about it, but jeez. It sucks being friends with girls.
        So anyway we had a nice conversation, and then she got called back. I realised at that precise moment that I would have to walk about 15 blocks in the rain carrying a giant turkey. The net it was packaged in was ripping the shit out of my fingers as I walked down Chestnut Street. Then I decided to call my mom and ask her to come pick the dammned thing up. She came and met me there, and gave me a ride to Felice's office.
          The last time I saw Felice was Monday. He wasn't feeling very well, and I didn't stay too long. he said he was going to go to the doctor's. I showed him an illustration I had made for the labels featuring the "Frog Prince". He didn't like the drawing, which is always a sign that something good is about to happen. He scanned it in and enlarged it for me, and I took it home to hand paint it in watercolors. Before I left, he laid out what the label would look like on the computer. It looked way cooler than I imagined, and then he placed the illustration in the center, and it looked awesome, except the drawing was still black and white. I left there and took the 42 to Salt's to hang out for a little while. I went on line as soon as I got there, and Felice had already modified the label some more and sent it to me. Now I'm getting excited.
        So I hung out with Salt for awhile. Then I decided to g ocatch the 64 home. Then we walked up to the stores on 46th so Salt could play the lottery. I was about to get on the bus when Salt said he might be able to get Trina's car to give me a ride home. Trina came over with their son Jantri. She was supposed to be cooking dinner for them. Some kind of cocconut chicken. I don't think Trina was liking the idea of Salt giving me a ride home, because this was supposed to be their family time or whatever. I felt like since I came back there from the bus stop, I was getting a ride yo. So anyway Salt told her that he needed to go to the laudromat, and she realised she needed chicken broth from the store, so I ended up getting that ride, and before that me and Salt went to the store and to the laundromat. This was just another girl watching excursion. There's always some nice ones out and about when the springtime comes.
          Then I came back here where of course it was business as usual. Dishes, and Elizabeth and James, and Albert. I was all amped up about the new labels, and I had to dig out my watercolors for this one. They were in a box in the back of the closet. I spent the rest of the day looking at Felice's layout on my monitor and listening to "Jockin Jay-Z" on repeat in a separate window on youtube.
         So on Wednesday, I spent the whole morning painting the "Frog Prince" at the kitchen table. It came out awesome. Way better than I expected. So when I showed up at Felice's on Thursday with the painting, he was busy, so I dropped it off with him. we talked a little about replacing the hard drive in my computer before it inevitably crashes. The plan was to go home and find out what kind of hard drive my computer takes. When I got back here and went online, Felice had already dropped the illustration into the layout, and created 4 separate labels, one for each of the cookies. It's brilliant! 1000000000 times better than I was aiming for. Felice is a genius. I just sat there and stared at them, for hours. I was going to write a thank you email, but I couldn't move. It's like I'm sitting there looking a millions of dollars. The missing component in my vision for world domination through the cookie aisles in every supermarket, wholefoods, and Trader Joe's! The main accomplishment was incorporating my original artwork in the marketing. I mean I had done that before with the oven logo, but this is another beast entirely. This must be how it feels to be Nataki. I really enjoyed painting. It was relaxing, and I think I'm going to start up again this weekend seeing as there's no BPPM.
           I spoke to Patrice a couple of times that evening. Once while I was having dinner. She said she was supposed to be going out to a club, but she didn't have a sitter. Not that that's anybody's business or anything, I just had to write how for a second I was tripping. I actually felt jealous for a second because she was going out. Whoa! Sometimes a lack of sleep can fuck up your judgement. I know what they mean by soulmates now. I don't think I like this.
           30 rock killed!
           I went to bed watching Man v. Food on the Travel channel talking to Patrice. It was a nice conversation. We were watching the dude try to drink like 25 malted milkshakes without going to the bathroom. I don't even have to tell you how that ended. Chalk one up for food.
            Anyway I'm addicted to that show, and the Travel Channel. We watched Dhani Jones Tackles the Globe, and then we hung up, and I went to sleep.
             I woke up around 4 in the morning stuck to the couch because it was 150 degrees in here. I couldn't sleep, so I went on demand and watched that Keanu Reeves movie "Street Kings" on HBO. It was pretty good considering the mismatched pairing of Keanu and Forest Whitaker. I was hyped, and I'll probably watch it again. It was good like that first Fast and the Furious was. It was off the hook, but you'd be embarrassed to say so in mixed company.
            Friday morning around seven, I get awakened by a call from Salt asking if I can be ready in five minutes for a Home Depot run. Fuck yeah! Anything to get out of here. So I got dressed, and while I was doing that, the UPS dude was at the door with the heat sealer. Awesome. So a few minutes later Salt got here and we were off to Home Depot, and then Lowes, and the Home Depot again. I noticed that since I had been taking the Superb Dieter's Tea regularly, I haven't had the urge to pig out on junk when I'm out and about. Mainly because Dieter's Tea is a cleansing tea, and it gives you these fucked up cramps. I've actually dropped like 5 pounds in about 8 days. It makes you feel weak, and it kills your appitite completely. I have to make myself eat dinner. The plan is to stop eating after seven which is easy as long as I've had that tea by two o'clock. Problem is after you drink it, you can't/shouldn't try to go anywhere. I'll just leave it at that. I've been getting dinner around eight, because at seven Elizabeth has her fat head at the table in front of the television. I feel like I deserve to eat in a clean kitchen at a table, so I wait until she's done eating, and I've cleaned the kitchen to sit and eat in peace. That's when Albert comes and starts talking to me about my dinner. Asking abunch of really ridiculous questions. "Are you going to eat all that by yourself? "What is that, chicken?" " Did you cook that, or did your mother cook that?" "Didn't you have that same thing last night?"
        I have gotten a handle on the portions now. A little bit of pasta, one piece of wheat bread instead of two. Low fat spread instead of butter, and a huge salad devoid of cheese, and croutons. Maybe a little fat free salad spray or low fat ranch dressing which I actually like better than the regular dressing. Last night Elizabeth had a salad and poured the whole bottle in her bowl. I wish somebody would explain to her that just because it's low fat doesn't mean you should eat googobs of it. That's not how it works. She just doesn't like for anybody else to enjoy anything. She's a glutton. Watching her eat turns my stomach like whipped cream, and is actually aiding in my diet.
         Later that day after I got back from running around with Salt, Big D came over to use the computer. While he was doing that, I made an effort at changing the tire on my bike. I keep putting it off. It seems like everytime I get ready to fix the bike and take it out for a ride, it snows, or rains or something. Then Thursday I was going to do it, and I realised that I don't have any pliars. So Big D brought his over. So after he finished his business on the interweb, he came over where I was and changed the tire in like two seconds. Amazing!
         Now all I have to do is pump it up with my new pump that I can't find in here, and it's off to the park for a test drive. It's been ages since I've been on a bike. Big D says people have been sticking people up for bikes where he lives. Philadelphia is an asshole.
          I spent the rest of the day online waiting for something to jump off on Facebook. I think that site is mainly for married people to cheat, and for hook ups. There's always somebody in my friend request box, but after I add them, they don't say anything to me. I just sit back and watch the back and forth between people from my high school. I think I'm going to shut it down again.
         Then I realised that it was Friday, and I didn't have anything to do but sit in here all night. I texted Denise to see if she wanted to go on adventures. She just happened to be nearby, so she came over and we went to the Barnes and Nobles in Plymouth Meeting. They stay open late.
          We split up as soon as we got in there pretty much. I went looking for the restrooms, and on the way there I came across the graphic novel section. Needless to say I stayed there looking for the collected Batman "Hush" series. I didn't find it, but I did find a collected version of Frank Miller's "Hard Boiled". I used to have a trade paperback version of it when I was like 20 years old. I loaned it to someone, and of course never saw it again. So there was this new oversized glossy version of it for $ 16.99 which is quite modest, but I couldn't bring myself to spend that much for it. I wish I had now.
       I was beginning to think I had matuerd a little, and had curbed my impulse spending along with my impulse eating, but I realise that it has nothing to do with that. I believe I can actually create my own masterwork just like Frank Miller. I always get like that when I'm in comic book stores or book stores or music stores. I figure I could take that same $16.99 and put it towards some nice mechanical pencils, and uniball pens.
           I saw that they had a bunch of special edition U2 "No Line On the Horizon" packages. It was really hard to not spend $90.00 on the boxed limited edition version complete with "Linear" film by Anton Corbijn. I think I was more amazed that I actually had $90.00 to my name.
            I found Denise later in the relationship book section. She has a new boyfriend, and she's all excited about that. I can dig it, so I went over to the bargain book section, and I found the book "Bono : In Conversation" for $4.98! It came out about 4 or 5 years ago. It was like $40.00 then. I could nevcer bring myself to spend that kind of money to read about Bono talking about himself for several pages, but $4.98 sounded about right.  So I walked around with it in my hand until the store closed, and then I purchased it. This was my first purchase of the week. No psp games, no filet o fish sammiches, no nothing. Now I bought a book with no pictures in it.
         Then I started thinking about the Rolling Stone issue from last week with U2 on the cover. I had been reading some reviews on the new record, and they have all been pretty positive. I would like to be able to read about the recording sessions while listening to the album. They still have the whole thing streaming on their myspace page.
           They already have the new Rolling Stone on news stands with two chicks from "Gossip Girl" licking a big dripping ice cream cone on the cover. While that isn't a bad visual, I really have to read about those U2 sessions.
            We stopped at a CVS drugstore, and two 7-11s before we gave up looking for it.
             I'm glad Denise came through, and I didn't spend all night in here staring at Facebook or myspace. There's a show tonight with Denise's friend's Radiohead tribute band at the Khyber. A Janes Addiction tribute band is opening all for $8.00. Sounds good. If I don't get into any painting, I may saunter down there to check it out.
                So I went to bed last night reading the Bono book forward, written by........ Bono. I fell asleep almost instantly.
                It was more interesting this morning when I woke up.
                I came online to see an email from Connie's roomate Abbe saying that she used more of my music for her lego kid's playdate blog. This flatters, and depresses me at the same time.
                I guess that's it for now. I went to the Sinister Candy myspace page to see that nobody had logged on there since November of 07. The same pics and the same two songs are posted with no comments or anything. I didn't log onto it either. It's a shame that that whole thing went down like that. It was like visiting a kid that I put up for adoption. I'm considering another band situation.
                 I may take the 64 out to AC Moore to price giant canvasses, then go over to Best Buy and pick up new U2, and Fall Out Boy c.d.s, maybe that "Punisher War Journal "dvd. Then lunch at Chic Fil et?
                Or I could take my dieter's tea on schedule, and get a lot of reading done.
                 Who knows?
Knives out.
Keep up.