I almost threw up about two hours ago. As everyone who knows me knows that I haven't thrown up since 1986. I
am proud of that record. The last time I threw up it was here at home during a band rehearsal with Lana. I
was eating Tastykake chocolate cupcakes (the ones without the cream filling) and for some reason an orange at
the same time. It was madgross. I remember praying to God outloud that "If you can make it so I never throw
up again, I will never ask for anything else. it's the only time I prayed for something, and God was like "I
guess that would be okay." True to his word, he has never since answered any of my petty selfish direct line
prayers. I prayed that my babymama wouldn't be pregnant, and of course that didn't work out, and it didn't
work out the second time either. She didn't get pregnant again, and I don't have any other kids running
around here anywhere, but I think that was a combination of luck, and me refraining from overindulging in
drink and/or drugs, and just not being able to get any ever.
Anyway, I did it to myself I suppose. I don't really want to talk about everything I did since the last blog,
because quite frankly it hasn't been all that interesting. I mean I've been over at the studio, and Friday
night Major treated me and Sunday to a movie at 1:00 a.m.! We saw Terminator: Salvation. Spoiler alert: Save
your money. Hopefully that didn't sound ungrateful. I am more than appreciative for Major hooking me up, and
just being a good friend. How would he have known that McG is an idiot director? Still I had popcorn, and a
huge root beer. Also me and Sunday had an epic lightsabre battle in the Walgreens earlier that day.
Which brings me back to the near upchuck crisis. When we were in the Wallgreens I bought an energy drink that
I hadn't tried before. Usually I get those little 2oz. 5 hour energy shots.
They do work, and they keep me
awake in the studio most of the time. I've heard all kinds of stories about that stuff wrecking your kidneys
and whatever. So far I haven't had an incident. Should have knocked on wood.
Maybe I should also add that I have been drinking pinot noir everyday since Friday. Funny how it just keeps
popping up everywhere I go. Anyway at the studio, Major brought some wine from his house, and we sipped on it
while we went through some of my tracks. I didn't consume much, but I felt relaxed, and I wasn't stressing
about the June 26th show. We got some work done. We were going petty smooth until Rollo came in with his
actors, and cameras and stuff and started shooting scenes for the film. Then it was "quiet on the set" and we
couldn't really work anymore. So we hung out in the office while Major did some work on a few computers. I
was having a great time nursing my plastic cup of wine, and laughing at Family Guy, and The Lonely Island. So
we packed it in, and came back across the bridge to Philly. I dropped off my gear and we went to the cinemas.
I didn't really sleep that good. Miles and I just laid there in bed watching Sanford and Son on Demand. I
woke up and went straight to work baking cookies for the O'erbrook "Class O' 88" get together that we try to
have every other month. This month it was bowling! So I got the cookies together, and by the time I finished
doing that, it was time to get showered and all of that to be ready to go. Big D was giving me a ride, and he
will leave motherfuckers if they aren't prompt. I started feeling a little fatigued as I was looking through
my 5 shirts to try and pick one that maybe nobody saw me in anywhere or at anytime this week. No luck, but 4
of the 5 shirts were crispy clean. 2 of them conceal my obtuseness. As you can see all over Facebook, I went
with this orangey-brownish deal. You've all seen it. I felt like I could just lie on the floor and blackout.
Then I remembered I had my energy drink! It's called "Rock On" and it has all kinds of "Metallicaesque"
designs all over the bottle and the box it came in. I should have known by the 2 for $7.00 price on two
bottles of this stuff that I would be paying for it all day Sunday.
I got to the bowling alley in the car with Big D and Tyra. Whenever I see Tyra is the only time I ever get to
really kiss a girl. She doesn't give those little affectionate "nice to see you" pecks that I'm used to
getting from, or imposing on my other female friends. She gives those nasty wet kisses that imply all kinds
of marathon fucking, possibly right on the spot. The kind of kisses you wish Rosario Dawson would give you as
a last request before a lethal injection. Not that I object to random marathon fucking, I just wish it didn't
come with all that morning after psychological baggage. So far I have no idea what her sex is like, but I
know that crazy chick sex is the all time greatest!( in Tyrone Biggums voice) "Crazy chick sex has ruined my
life".
So we get to the lanes, and we pay for a couple of games, and we get to bowling. People start coming in, and
we take pictures, and catch up on what we've been up to since the last get together, or Facebook update. I'm
starting to feel tired, so I down the energy shot. On the bottle it says: no jitters, no crash, no sugar.
Let's just say I can't trust them on that no sugar claim, because they lied about all that other stuff. I had
madjitters that caused me to bowl a 109 game (which I later found out from Cal "ain't shit") to win the first
game! Yay me right?
We bowled three games total, and halfway through the second game I got the crash. Fuck right? I got like a 98
that game losing by three points to Big D who was kicking up dust and rolling his ball at 100 mph. I was
enjoying myself, and then I started noticing all the ginormous breasts the ladies in the Class of 88 had
sprouted/pushed up/augmented. Was this the effect of the energy drink?
By the third game Kenny Nix had joined in and took all the fun out of the sport by bringing his champion
skills in and bowling a 200 game. In our faces right? By then I had been cozying up to Robbin Oliver who I
haven't seen since 1988. Still the same. Still thick, still chocolate. Still amazing. She brought her son
Leslie along. He bowled, and he handed everyone their balls when it was their turn to bowl. He was adorable,
and he was also turbo boosted by eating way too many of my cookies. By then I was bowling a shitty game (or
as Cal would say, " a shittier game"), and doing more socializing. Tracey came in right behind Murvis.
Hhhmmmm. Just sayin'. Anyway it was good to see her I suppose. I'm definitely over that crush I had, but
she's still smurfalicious, and I had to hug on her a lil bit.
Murvis finally got to sample my cookies. We had an awkward conversation, and we exchanged numbers in case he
wanted to order some cookies or whatever. Part of me just wants to say to him, "It's okay to be friends with
me. It's okay to say the cookies are the bomb. I'm nowhere near as insane as you think I am." I'm actually
quite boring. I don't think he's as insane either. He's just got an unnervingly quiet nature, and a bizzare
affection for FISO Lounge.
Tracey or Murvis didn't stay long, and they both kind of tipped out at about the same time. He said there was
some function going on at Fiso, and that if we weren't doing anything after the bowling, we should swing by
there and have some vodka.
Last time Mary and Osiris and I were down there about a week ago, they had been shut down for being a public
nusiance. We celebrated in front of the building, and even took pictures. I wonder if Murvis knows it's been
shut down. Then again this is Philadelphia, and it could possibly be opener than a muhfukka. I don't really
care about this.
A few people left, and the remainder of us went to Applebees up the street for cocktails and appitizers. I
had the chicken quesadillas, and some Sutter Home Pinot Noir. We talked and laughed until they threw us out
at closing time. It was the best time out I've had since......since last weekend with Mary and Osiris!
Today was the first BPPM since before the Penn Relays. So that would put it at about a month and a week. We
went out to Lansdale and got lunch at the Cheesecake Factory. I had the lunch portion of orange chicken, and
I couldn't finish that. My stomach must be shrinking. I didn't finish my quesidillas last night either. Then
we went to a place called 6th Avenue Electronics where they had ridiculously affordable flat screen
televisions and high definition stuff. If I stayed at home for three months, I could actually afford a 42
inch plasma flat screen. I don't really need that right now. I have to stay focused on the business, and
refrain from splurging on things that don't advance my goals any. On the way over there I foolishly downed
the second energy shot. This is where my stomach started doing backflips.
We went to Mark's and we watched season one of Afro Samurai. I kept feeling like I was going to throw up. Not
full on, but like a nagging little push from the pit of my stomach. Then I got like an acid reflux of the
energy drink that burned my throat like a miniature sun.
It's never cool to vomit in the pressence of your dudes. Especially when you haven't even been drinking. So I
managed to keep that shit down until we left Mark's. We stopped at the WaWa on the way home, ironically to
buy more energy drink shots. I went to the restroom because it felt like it was coming up. I actually tried
to make something happen, but nothing did. Then my stomach quieted down. So far crisis averted. Hopefully for
another 23 years.
So aside from a near toilet hugging situation, I've had a pretty fun weekend. I find myself wishing I had an
activity planned with Mary and to a lesser degree Osiris this weekend. I've grown accustomed to her
face....and the rest of her.
So now I'm sitting here typing this, and about to fall asleep, but I'm fighting it, because I can smell a
bammer coming. I need to stay awake long enough for this excedrine migraine to kick in. Maybe I'll go back on
Facebook and see if anything has changed since I checked it 5 minutes ago.
Last night I got my Hip- Hop Box c.d. collection back from Big D. He's been holding it hostage since 2004. I
seriously forgot I ever owned it until last night. I was up jamming to the 12 inch version of Kurtis Blow's
"The Breaks" the timbale solo in the middle is funk madness, and it influenced a dream I had early this
morning.
That collection has Pete Rock and C.L. Smooth, Chubb Rock, Craig Mack, Soul Sonic Force, KRS-1, Digable
Planets, Queen Latifah, UTFO it goes on and on, and I might just have to get my Treacherous Three on after
this. I mean dammitt it even has Arrested Development AND Main Source "I'm Lookin' at the Front Door!" Black
Sheep even!
It's not the greatest compilation, and I'm sure I could make a better one from all the stuff in my
collection, but it's so convenient.
So in closing, I still haven't thrown up since 1986.
Also there is a ghost in my computer. I don't know how I almost left that out.
For the past week there has been this like 20 second constant loop of techno music coming throuh my Akai DPS16. Halfway through the music you hear a lady's voice saying that someone "has three minutes". It just keeps looping and looping. The only way you can stop it is by shutting the computer down. Then it will go like a half a day and then it starts up again. I'm no Ray Parker Jr. I'm afraid of no ghost. This shit is creepy.
Anyway I'm out to go play some Pharcyde "She Keeps on Passing Me By" Story of my life.
Knives out
Keep up.