Thank you for the application, my dear. It is currently being reviewed by my crack-team of specially trained squirrels. And, just to clear things up, I'd prefer a girl who is OVER 125 lbs....I don't wanna have to wonder if I'm gonna break 'em in half.

-j.

 

What can I say? I want girls who can defend my girly-femme honor in a barfight. I likes me the big strappin' ladies.

Anyway, I've gotta say I'm totally impressed by the glass of milk...it's a weird thing to which to compare oneself, but you pulled it off poetically.

OMG, you give me such a girlie hard-on, Sky!

 

Your Name: Amy

Location: Charlotte, MI  The worst little nothing town on earth.

How do you know Jungle? Uhm, she messaged me, and I liked her style so I loitered (sp?) around her page a while.

State your interest in Jungle: 4.3% A.P.R

How would you rate yourself sexually? I've never complained to myself before.  Seriously, I haven't had sex with too many girls...4 so I haven't seen it all obviously.  I could use some good training I suppose.

How would you rate your expirience level?  I think I answered that above.

Describe your personality: Which day of the week are we talking about??  Uh, I'm a little nerrotic, I can't spell worth shit.  I like to have fun but I also love those deep conversations (I said conversations not arguements!). 

Describe yourself physically: I'm tall, gigantic even, 6'2".  I have a couple extra pounds on me so I'm just over 200 lbs.  That sounds like a LOT more than I look, I'm tall with a big bones, not fat.  I have tatts, I just got my setum piecered to go along with other pieceings I have.

Are you at least 5'8 and over 140lbs? um, yup.

What are your personal goals?  I would like to some day make it as an artist but I'm not holding my breath.  I just want a place to live on my own, a dog, an a place to paint and I'll be happy.

Do you smoke? Yup. If so, what and how frequently? Newport Lights, Everyday...I'm an addict, worse thing ever.  I've tried to quit so many times and my friends have told me to smoke.  I guess I get bitchy.

Do you drink? Yhea, maybe a little more than I should but I'm a lonely dyke in a new town, what do you expect?  Have you seen the stats on gays and drugs/alcohol?  Scary.

Do you use drugs?  Used to a lot, now I might smoke pot 2-4 times a year, I don't even realy like it anymore, I never buy it.  I only do it at parties or something like that.  I don't mind if someone uses pot recreationally but other drugs I won't deal with.  I've been that person...it's not pretty.

Are you threatened by extremely good looking, intelligent, assertive and highly motivated women?  You know, maybe a little.  But I think I would get over it....the only reason I would be threatened is because they would have the things I want for myself.....

If you could be any inanimate object, you would be (a): Oohh...so many places to go so little time.  You said inanimate not, not alive..(don't get technichal I know everything alive moves)...I'd like to be a tree...hot hippie girls huggin' on me...hmmm...anyway, it woudl be cool to see time pass that slow.  See humanity in that time sense.

Describe your ideal date with Jungle: Well, since it ould be our first date..let's see.. well this friday (today) we could meet up at Mac's Bar.  Watch some bands play, if they're shitty oh well, we could always take off.  Have a few drinks, get to know each other.  I think alcohol is essential for a first date because it's the only way *I* will relax and let loose a litte.  And if things go well, hey, there's a halloween party at a friend of mines' house on Sat.  The ideal part would be good conversation, some things in common but enough different to keep things interesting and some cemistry.  A loud place is nice cuase you get to lean in to talk...making that first kiss a little easier if it's going to happen.

Imagine you've been seeing Jungle for one month. On your one month "anniversary" what would you do? Forget till the day after, just kidding....maybe.  I'm a little forgetfull but I try hard not to.  Um, probably a nice dinner in at someone's house, I love to cook.  Some nice music and let it go from there.  I hate a scripted life, I like things to be sontaneous, it's all seems more heartfelt that way.

Any other comments?  I would definatly be interested in meeting up with you sometime to chat, the computer here sucks shitballs so I hardly get on it.  I'll be at Mac's friday.  I'll leave it at that.

 

*blinks*  I think I love you.

No, no, don't go getting all freaked out. I was just kidding....maybe. Now, then,  you're a tall drink o' water. *grins*  Did I mention I like tall girls?

 

Aww, look who's gotten possesive all of a sudden! *pets you*
 

Your Name: u can call me Daddi

Location: on my couch

How do you know Jungle? the Big WWW

State your interest in Jungle: Good Times

How would you rate yourself sexually? How would you rate your expirience level? 10 yrs experience under my urrr belt.. Im fan-fucking-tastic. thought ya knew..

Describe your personality: Right now.. a bit silly.. Most times kinda quiet, laid back. Depends on the time of day..

Describe yourself physically: I get Sir/Mister a lot. Im a big'un.

Are you at least 5'8 and over 140lbs? way over... 6'3" 300ish lbs (big bones)

What are your personal goals? Own a home by my 35th bday, 6 figure salary

Do you smoke? If so, what and how frequently? Unfortunately, I like to suck on  cancer sticks (among other things). Is 2 packs a day frequent?  And a damn good Stoggie from time to time.

Do you drink? on occassions

Do you use drugs? does excedrine count? If not well hell... Ive been known to partake in the plight of Ganja freedom.

Are you threatened by extremely good looking, intelligent, assertive and highly motivated women? Im threatened only by the voices in my head... I refuse to answer them though.

If you could be any inanimate object, you would be (a): ur thong... I'll leave the explanation up to ur imagination...

Describe your ideal date with Jungle: a lil wine a lil dine ahhh screw it.. ya wanna fuck???

Imagine you've been seeing Jungle for one month. On your one month "anniversary" what would you do? turn her over my knee.. oohhh, thats a different occassion.. hmmm give me a few for this one.....................

Any other comments? u rock!!!

 

Woo, damn.  It usually takes a butch girl at least 2 dates to get *that* fresh with me. I can't seem to remember that last time someone volunteered to give me a wedgie with themself. I think I'm at a loss for words.
 

Alright ladies! Stand in line, no pushing! Fill 'er out and get it back to me. Serious inquiries only, please ;-)

Your Name:chara love

Location:Lansing mi

How do you know Jungle? She came up to me at 505 and the rest is history

State your interest in Jungle:possibilities are endless

How would you rate yourself sexually? How would you rate your expirience level?I rate myself on a scale of 1-10 a sure fire nine. I could always use improvements I like to think I have a good amount of experience although I think I like to learn new things all the time...

Describe your personality: Incorrigable and very intense with a side order of weirdness. ask my friends about my phone messages.

Describe yourself physically: I am a butch femme or a femme butch I don't know sometimes I feel like wearing makeup and other days I like wearing my fake faux hawk. I am still figuring that out. I have been told I am hot. I think I am ....

Are you at least 5'8 and over 140lbs?Yes 5'11 I have a ghetto booty

What are your personal goals? I am currently in school working on my associates for commercial voice. I am also working on an associates for massage therapy. I am making my first cd. I hope to either sing or massage my way out of my  current job

Do you smoke? If so, what and how frequently? No just in the dept of looks...

Do you drink?Occasionally when the mood strikes, also if there are fun people around me..

Do you use drugs? not usually but I did have my first joint at 7 thanks to my parents

Are you threatened by extremely good looking, intelligent, assertive and highly motivated women? yes and I like it...

If you could be any inanimate object, you would be (a): I would be any muscial instrument. I would have to be practiced everyday as well as held. Just pick any instrument that is strummed, blown in or held and that would be me... I would really like to be a guitar or a piano because they make the most beautiful music when played...

Describe your ideal date with Jungle:I think a trip to the windy city by train so that we could  not worry about driving and just talk.I would  give her a massage while traveling on the train . I would then take her shopping and then to a really great restaraunt in boys town. I would follow it up with either an opera or a play. If she had the energy I would take her dancing at one of the many bars on Halsted st. I am sure we could find lots to do....

Imagine you've been seeing Jungle for one month. On your one month "anniversary" what would you do? I would take her to dinner and a nice night on the town and do what ever she wanted.I think something like a trip to grand rapids or another city that might have fun things to do.

Any other comments? You are hot and a very real person who deserves good things in life where ever it takes you....

 

 

Ding-ding-ding! Step up little lady and collect your prize!!

Do you realize you're the first person to even raise the point that one month is WAY too soon to warrant any sort of celebration? I am a wickedly independant person and that super-lovey-squishy stuff gives me an anxiety attack. Way to go.

 

I love you and I miss you, too, Dee. When will you be back in Asquared?

 

 

..

Aw, Cait....how sweet of you to dirty up my page with your boi-ish filth. You're truly the five dollar trick that keeps on givin'.

I never realized you're only 5'7". I guess your big personality makes you seem a little taller. You maybe an inch too short, but your booty makes up the difference in volume. Heh.

I'd love to go out on a date sometime - no classy girl can resist the lure of a pocketful of lukewarm PBR, melty goobers and random groping in the darkness of a badly-made film. Nothing makes me feel more like a princess, I swear.

Can't wait to see you, kiddo.

 

<p>Alright ladies! Stand in line, no pushing! Fill 'er out and get it back to me. Serious inquiries only, please ;-)</p> <p>Your Name: Char
</p> <p>Location: Mt. Pleasant
</p> <p>How do you know Jungle? Linked through BME personals
</p> <p>State your interest in Jungle: You seem like a fun date, and you'd be even more fun to get to know. If we don't click as anything in the sack, maybe as friends (sappy)
</p> <p>How would you rate yourself sexually? How would you rate your expirience level? Who knows. I think if it feels good it is good.
</p> <p>Describe your personality: What a question. I make fun of everything, try not to see the bad, and if I do, I make fun of that, too. I am a master of corny jokes.
</p> <p>Describe yourself physically: Built to love. Nobody offers me a sandwich unless I ask first.
</p> <p>Are you at least 5'8 and over 140lbs? No, and yes.
</p> <p>What are your personal goals? Graduate this college thing and get somewhere.
</p> <p>Do you smoke? If so, what and how frequently? It makes me choke.
</p> <p>Do you drink? Every once in a while, never to the point where I slobber on people's toes.
</p> <p>Do you use drugs? Only the ones that come in the bottle my doctor gives me.
</p> <p>Are you threatened by extremely good looking, intelligent, assertive and highly motivated women? Maybe if she's trying to threaten me.
</p> <p>If you could be any inanimate object, you would be (a):  Tree
</p> <p>Describe your ideal date with Jungle: Pick you up in my SuperChar Chevette of Love, and take you to an activity of your choice (mini golf, or bowling, or something) that we can do something and enjoy. I don't care what because I suck at all of them. Then go for some food, I like Chinese because it's very vegetarianable.
</p> <p>Imagine you've been seeing Jungle for one month. On your one month "anniversary" what would you do? Well, hopefully the planetarium would be open for viewing because it would be the summer and seeing stars up close is quite hot.
</p> <p>Any other comments?</p><p>Nope.
</p>
 

Ok, I am totally smitten! While I normally find anniversary talk kinda saccharine, I have and always will think that THE PLANETARIUM IS THE BEST FUCKING DATE EVER!!  I'm serious - write this down, ladies: It only costs a coupla bucks (far less than a movie), you sit in the dark in fully reclining seats, staring up a a night sky full of stars with your object-of-lust du jour. You are virtually guaranteed to get some illicit in-public kinda sexin'.

P.S. Yay for vegetarianable!

P.P.S Why a tree?

P.P.P.S. The SuperChar Chevette of Love sounds awesome.