US FALL TOUR 2009 w/ Kylesa, Tombs, Saviours, Red Fang
Words by Dan Freaking And
Pics by Daan, Braad and Maark

Sep 11 '09 (Vancouver BC @ Commodore):

I always love kicking off a tour with a show in Vancouver. It's great to have one last chance to get completely loser pissed with our friends before we hit the road for however long. This time we were fortunate enough to finally share the stage with local good 'ol boys The Golers and old pals 3 Inches of Blood. The Golers have been around forever and everyone should fucking hear them. They're basically Vancouver's Venomous Concept: relentless, break-neck speed pummeling. Is grind-punk a genre?

Show was fucking fun as all hell. It was 3 Inches record release show for 'Here Waits Thy Doom' (which may or may not feature all of us doing back ups on the song 'Preacher's Daughter') and the place was packed! The cap of the Commodore is somewhere between 950 and 1000 and apparently it was like 15 tickets away from being sold out. Jesse from local grinders Zuckuss pointed out how fucking crazy it is that three local bands brought that many metal heads out of the woodwork. The night was bitter sweet though because not only was our good friend Ian unable to be there because of surgery but that night would also be my last chance to ever set foot in local punk/metal institution the Cobalt. I can't even describe how awesome that bar and the staff are. The thought that it's getting shut down by the fucking slum lords that own the building so they can cash in on Olympic fever makes me wanna tear someone's head off. I'm consoled by the fact that i know bar legend/honcho Wendy 13 will soon enough have a new venue i can crawl out of at 5am reeking of jager bombs. COBALT FOREVER!

Sep 12 '09:

After dicking around all day running errands and saying our tearful goodbyes we hit the road pretty much just in time for rush hour. Sweet. Border actually not too bad at all...although it's busy as hell, we don't get searched but have to pay ten bux for our CD's? Gimme a break. We get only a short ways past Spokane sometime late at night and our transmission starts giving out for the THIRD FUCKING TIME THIS YEAR! I suggest we head to Spokane and wait till morning for a mechanic but the decision is made to turn around and head all the way back to Vancouver. We make it about 60 miles west of Spokane and have to get a tow truck to take us back there and...wait for a mechanic. Sounds familiar.

The next five days are highly uneventful. Literally 12 hours of day one waiting in the mechanics parking lot, a starbucks and wandering around a grocery store endlessly. The next morning we end up renting the most hideous beast we can.....a brand new white suburban which we dub many highly offensive names, the least of which being 'Snowy White' or 'Great White'. It's the only vehicle we can rent that has a tow hitch for our trailer and the most powerful engine...which for those paying attention to the colour of it can probably guess at least one of said horribly offensive names. The ironic thing is that the Great White Hope is way more fuel efficient than our beloved Blue Bitch. It also has A/C, XM satellite radio (the station Hair Nation being the perfect soundtrack while reading 'Fargo Rock City') and horribly uncomfortable all leather seats but hopefully we won't get pulled over cuz we give the illusion of some rich family moving across country instead of dirty bag metal dudes corrupting young ears from town to town. We can't afford to pay the $250 cleaning fee for smoking in it so we now have to stop every hour for a smoke break.

Unfortunately we have to cancel three shows in Minneapolis, Chicago and Columbus because we have to haul ass to Wilmington to start the Kylesa and Tombs tour. I'm bummed about those cancellations because Minneapolis and Columbus are awesome towns with some rad peeps and we finally hooked up a real show IN Chicago. We do stop in Chicago for an hour or so to pick up our TM Mark with all of our merch and the totally righteous bros at Emperor cabs hook me the fuck up with a crazy good deal. Hang out with our bud Andy briefly but raging with Nachtmystium and company will have to wait until next year.



Sep 17 '09 (Wilmington NC @ Soapbox):

First show is a little rough, we haven't practiced in a while and had to drive all through the night but we try to make the most out of it. Great to see the Tombs guys again, Carson and I enjoy the excellent deals being offered us at the bar. Tour mode has officially kicked in.

Sep 18 '09 (Asheville NC @ Mo Daddy's, Planet Caravan Fest):

What an odd little hippy town in the middle of North Carolina...feels like we're back in BC. Win. There are two different venues here for the fest: one a bigger actual show venue and the other a small restaurant. We are the first act in the restaurant and although there only 15 or so people eating dinner when we get up on stage the room completely fills within five minutes. Crowd is amazing and stays for the whole set even though Wino is playing across the parking lot at the exact same time. Wow. Zoroaster are right after us, i stay for a couple crushing jams then skip over to the big room to catch our old bros from Sweden, Burst. Only catch the last two songs but it will be the last time i ever see those songs as they have decided to call it quits after this US jaunt with Zoroaster and Gojira. We spent a month with them in Europe last spring (along with Medeia and the Ocean), they are absolute sweethearts and it's great to see them again. We hang out in Asheville all night crushing beers and tasting cornshine with Zoroaster and Burst on Motley Crue's old bus! Nbd. The ironic thing is that the bus is broken down and will leave those dudes stranded in Asheville for the next couple days...bummer. Joanne from Brooklyn hooks us up with projectile vomiting friend of a friend and some squats to stay in and i end up getting a bad case of mold cold...thanks for the crash and egg sandwiches though, dudes.







Sep 19 '09 (Charlotte NC @ Milestone):

We arrive early in the muggy southern heat and are greeted by the bar owner Neil and a bunch of rad dudes (who spent the day recording in the bar and whose band name i wish i had caught cuz they were great). The first question out of Neil's mouth was "So you guys wanna shot?". Being as it was 4 in the afternoon, of course we accept followed by beer backs and a tour of the small but amazing club we will soon be playing. The walls are covered with graffiti from nearly any legendary punk band you can think of and we are regaled with even more stories of those who have also played here: Minor Threat, Black Flag, Bad Brains, Dead Kennedys, DOA, Toxic Shock, Melvins...the list goes on.





The opening band is entirely instrumental which instantly raises my judgements but they are awesome and completely live up to their name: Kick Ass. I'm actually bummed to have to follow them but we play hard and i feel great about the set...until i collapse at the end of it because i can't fucking breathe. I've been physically and emotionally worn out, run down, exhausted and burnt out after shows but never have i entirely not been able to breath. As soon as we finish loading there is a surprise torrential down pour....this will not be the last. We get wasted and end up crashing at the promoter Phillip's house (who couldn't actually make the show because of a wake for a friend the night before...totally understandable but i wish he had been there due to his and the bar tender's love and respect for our brothers in Ladyhawk). Phillip has a surprisingly charismatic pug named Pug, with whom Mark and i spend many essential sleeping hours rowdying up.

Sep 20 '09 (Nashville TN @ The End):

The last time we were in Nashville (about a month and a bit ago with Woe Of Tyrants and Lazarus) there were about four people at the show and unbeknownst to me was broadcast live over the internet. Because we were basically playing to just the bands on the tour i made some horrible ICP related jokes and thought nothing of screwing up pretty much everything we played. It also didn't help that Job For A Cowboy were playing down the street. Our set was mediocre at best but 2/3rds of Today Is The Day said they enjoyed it. I am officially star struck. Is it just me or do Steve Austin and Page Hamilton look shockingly similar?

Sep 21 '09 (Memphis TN @  Hi Tone):

Great food, good show and met some rad folks. I won't name names but i heard a hilarious story from a dude who kept getting insulted by Phil Anselmo for rockin different t-shirts of Sammy Goatwhore's old bands until he one day called him out only to have his efforts thwarted by concerned friends. He was also working on the documentary Slow Southern Steel and i really hope they added a re-enactment of that but i doubt it. Haha..."there ain't no turtles in turtle soup, it's just a turtle flavoring". (there are only about 8 or 9 people who will get that but it's fucking hilarious to me. deal.)

Sep 22 '09 (Birmingham AL @ Bottle Tree):

We accidentally punched in the wrong address to our GPS and originally ended up in the middle of the fucking stix. Looking around i begin to accept that i will soon be sodomized by toothless, banjo enthusiasing hicks, however after a slight address change we find ourselves at an anomaly of a club. Old records cover nearly every square inch of wall space and the 'back stage' includes a huge lounge, Super Mario Bros in arcade format and two Airstream trailers decked out with flat screen cable TV...ooh-la-la. Crowds small but rad and it's nice to have a sea of party vests in front of us. It's Masa's birthday and he gets hammer smashed then we present him with some peanut-butter chocolate cake with a smoke in it instead of a candle. Another FUCKING INSANE downpour while we're loading out and me and Brad actually get trapped in the trailer for a little bit until it subsides. Crazy heat lightning before that too. The weather in the south is fucked.











Sep 23 '09 (New Orleans LA @ Hi Ho Lounge):

It's my first time down in New Orleans and the neighbourhood we're in has a really heavy vibe to it. We're surrounded by houses that are still boarded up and marked with 911 codes for body and debris removal. Wow. Despite that the people at the venue are great and the owner John makes us all some amazing sausage jambalaya. Katie-Lynne from C'mon comes out to hang and the shots ensue. Things get a little blurry after that...


Sep 24 '09 (Austin TX @ Red 7):

...next thing i know we're in Austin and chowing down on some killer bbq. The show is outdoors and the sound is actually really good. Curse The Heavens open up and they remind me of two of my favorite bands (and both Canadian!): Shallow North Dakota and Fiftywatthead...awesome. This tour has had an abundance of rad people at the shows and tonight is no exception. We head back to our super cheap, fancy Pricelined hotel and me and Carson Tombs slug bourbon in the parking lot...another blurry night.

Sep 25 '09 (San Antonio TX @ Rock Bottom Tattoo Bar):

We've got a super short drive today so we meet up with the rest of Tombs for an awesome sit down mexi-breaky then dick around town all day trying to sort out some warranty and insurance bullshit surrounding our van and looking at records.

We get into San Antonio to find out that there is another show happening before ours so we have to wait to load in. We go in to investigate and i'm instantly filled with rage by being surrounded by teenage comb-overs, brightly coloured merch and Metro Station / crab core / scream pop bands. Good fucking god. I think i may have wandered into an Attack! Attack! concert. How does this music even exist and how can these little pecker heads afford trailers that are bigger than my apartment? Crap sells and it turns out everyone's buying.

We hear some real music drifting through the air and James goes on a quick recon mission. Turns out that just down the canal behind the venue there is an outdoor function going on. It's Dancing Under the Stars with The Roger Velasquez Band at the VFW Post 76. There's beer, free spaghetti and families everywhere and it rules. The VFW club house is huge and apparently it's the oldest post in Texas. Sweet deal.

Eventually we can load in and get right to it. The Pierce The (shit) Veil clones have emptied out and we're thankfully now surrounded by beards, dreadlocks and patches...ahhh, good to be home. Fuck you and your neon t-shirts. Bands are alternating on a stage inside and one outside. I miss the band outside after us but after Tombs (as per usual) crushing set we see a band outside called Ecocide. Wow. The only way i can think to describe is take later His Hero Is Gone and replace Todd Burdette with a small blonde girl playing the violin and screeching like Jeff Walker. I haven't heard or seen anything like this in at least ten years and these kids seem pretty young. My faith is successfully restored that not everyone in the world is a deaf idiot with a flat iron hair-do.

Sep 26 '09 (Denton TX @ Rubber Gloves):

After our bud Rikki takes us out for the best/cheapest breakfast tacos i've ever eaten we hit the long road across Texas. Rubber Gloves: rad bar and rad peeps. Denton is the hometown of our tight bros in A.N.S. but unfortunately they are still on tour in SF at the moment so we wont get to see them. They hook us up with some dope new buds Kenny and Sarah to crash with. Turns out we actually met Sarah three years ago the first time we played with A.N.S. and Annihilation Time in San Marcos. They have a rad little rancher house and some killer lil pooches we party down with. Another dude named Kenny gives James an A.N.S. tattoo with a toothbrush-gun and i briefly get to see Jeff who roadied for the boys a month ago when they stayed with me and Carly in Vancouver. We somehow cant even finish the bottle of Rebel Yell bourbon Mark bought in Austin...fuckin amateur hour.

Sep 27 '09 (Oklahoma City OK @ Conservatory):




This is our last night with Tombs on the tour and that sad fact hangs in the air all night. At least there is an amazing record store called Size Records right next to the venue that me and Carson peruse for awhile. He finds a Mountain t-shirt (which he graciously gives to Masa) and a bunch of old power pop records for cheap while i spot a surprising amount of old Victoria punk 7''s and a Social Infestation 10''. Score. If you've never been you have got to check this store out. I have never been so dumbfounded by the amount of random sweet finds in a record store before...and the owner is a total rad dude to boot (bonus points for the fact that he was rocking a Seasick shirt).

I think we play pretty good until Tombs just crushes with their seething tension and intensity. At one point i actually think Carson might deck a loser-pissed dude up front who's been screaming all night. If i didn't know how much of a sweetheart Carson actually is i would have been worried when he started to stare the dude down...amazing.

To cap it all off Kylesa plays an amazing set as well. The stage set up was great for either standing down front or off the side of stage right. It's a good stage height and the energy translates great onto the floor. I feel like we all hit our stride there...too bad Tombs are outta here.



We dick around in the parking lot after the show saying our sad goodbyes to the bros. I'm really gonna miss watching Tombs every night and hanging out with them. Ever since we first played together in Manhattan at CMJ last year we have been crucial buds and seem to cross paths and lines of normal bro-decency as often as we can. Mike Hill is a great guy who scares the fuck out of a lot of people but is actually one of the funniest people i have ever met. Andrew pounds his drums and stalks the back of the stage with the ferocity of a starving lion (and secretly sings beautiful ballads of the old west in his spare time). Their roadie Thorns is a shifty fuck with a heart of gold...and by gold i mean Camel Crush cigarettes. Carson and i are brothers from different mothers and i still think he should have played at least one night in his tie-dyed shirt...but only so i could've made fun of him for it...fuckin Williamsburg hip(pie)ster! NYCNSBM.












Sep 28 '09 (Albuquerque NM @ Launch Pad):

The first thing that struck me about this venue was the framed posters that line the walls...Melvins, High on Fire, Fu Manchu...some kill bands have been through here over the years. I was also struck by how nice and clean Albuquerque seemed. I would later find out that the town is ranked in the top five for violent crimes in the US. Ok then, never mind.

Played with a rad band called Roñoso. Weirdest guitar tone ever but it totally worked in their crust-saw sound. Kylesa sounds fucking huge tonight. Their (hilarious) sound guy Dave is working the system like it owes him money...and it probably does.

Sep 29 '09 (Scottsdale AZ @ Chasers):

Was really looking forward to playing with Landmine Marathon at this show and they did not disappoint. The singer Grace paces around like a maniac while the boys dole out punishing riffs like they're going out of style. Awesome. Weird little bar that LM's Matt explains hasn't had a metal show since Neurosis played  here in the 90's...which explains the old timer crowd that turn their heads at us when we load in. Aside from the oddness of eating Vietnamese food in Arizona, have an interesting interaction with the clerk of the corner store that's in the same strip mall complex as the bar. He doesn't seem to understand that Canada is a separate country from the US (he's especially interested in how easy it is to cross our borders...no joke). He seems to be under the impression that Canada is a densely forested frozen wasteland and i have to explain to him that although the west coast and more northern regions are densely forested that the majority of Canada is made up of prairies. He is also surprised to learn that we have cities too.

It's James' birthday tonight and he fingers me when i dedicate a song to him. He cheers up when i offer to buy him an alabama slammer (which we have to look up on the internet to find out what the hell it is) but then i can't find him so i buy myself one instead.

This is my fourth time in Arizona in ten years and every single time has been in August and has been absolutely miserable (except for the show in Dapper Dan's Barber Shop in Tucson we played two years ago). It's nice to finally enjoy myself in the desert...maybe i don't hate it as much as i thought. No, i do.

Sep 30 '09 (Hollywood CA @ Knitting Factory):

And my second least favorite place in the world...Los Angeles. I'm not even going to bother getting into why i hate LA so much. I mean what's not to love about being surrounded by Criss Angel and Kat Von D clones and people just waiting to be discovered. Guess what, i just discovered that you are all useless pieces of shit. Congratulations. The only saving grace on our visit here is that there is a huge zombie walk going on down the strip...it reminds me of being back in Vancouver and that both disturbs and comforts me. I didn't slag LA too much last time we were through because our super tight lil' bro Sarah is from here and loves the shit out of it...but she's off cheating on us with an indie rock band (also from Vancouver!) so now i can unleash all my rage upon this useless town.

It's our first of two nights with Saviours and i'm excited. Over the past couple of weeks i have been given several messages from people here and there to give to Sunny. They include but are not limited to "ask him about the Budweiser bikini" and "pinch his nipples as hard as you can". Totally awesome bunch of guys and i finally have someone to talk to about Yaphet Kotto (Scott and Austin's old band, not the guy). Cyrus is also an old bud of James' from the STREETS days of touring with Drunkhorse so we're all fast friends.

Our show goes a lot better than our last time in LA with the Sword...which for us was nothing short of a complete disaster. I wonder what the members of Limp Bizkit and Tool who were there thought of us...and then i laugh. Did Adam Jones just come down for the zombie walk and think, 'oh hey, there's a show here...i don't have to work in the morning so maybe i'll go in for a beer'?

We hear some rumours about a possible tour with Saviours in the new year. After seeing the fine form they were in at the end of the night as they took off for some warehouse rager i can only imagine the kind of trouble our two bands could get each other into.

Oct 01 '09 (San Francisco CA @ DNA Lounge):

Finally get to be back in our second home: SF! It's been over a year since we played here and it was an amazing backyard bbq mix-tape show at our friend Emily's with Hightower and Orb of Confusion. I love this town like no other in the US and if it weren't for the whole 'living in the states' thing i'd have a permanent 415 number in a heartbeat. Kowloon Walled City opens the show and they just kill it. I've been a fan of theirs for a while and it's great to get to see them live. Crushing 'noise' rock? Those guitar tones need to be heard to be believed. There's so many rad old friends out it seriously feels like we're playing a home show. We fill the balcony with loved ones and watch Saviours and Kylesa from the bird's eye.  This is our last show with Saviours for the time being and they have to head back to Oakland tonight so we say our sad, wasted goodbyes and head to the Mission. Make a mandatory stop at Pop's Bar before we all head back to Dave from Hightower's place for cocktails into the wee hours.



Oct 02 '09 (San Jose CA @ Voodoo Lounge):

Wake up to my hangover screaming at me to get it some insanely strong coffee and a breakfast burrito the size of my thigh. Done and done, buddy! Please stop yelling...

We were just out here in San Jose a month and a half ago but i don't really remember the show because i was just getting over a brutal heatstroke that made me puke and shit for three days straight...while we were broken down in the Nevada desert....i'd recommend that experience for anyone who wants to be in a touring band. Try that out then tell me how much you wanna be a rock n' roller.

If my ears don't deceive me the two opening bands apparently are Incubus and Korn? Seems weird but San Jose just that kind of a weird town. Don't get me wrong this bar and the people that work here are fucking awesome and they spoil the shit out of us...but take a walk around town on a friday night and you'll see what i mean. I don't know where all these bar stars and fake gangsters are hiding the rest of the time but this town is full on shitty rape-kit meat market on the weekends. Anyone spent any time on Granville street here in Vancouver? Take that and make a town out of it. I'm glad we brought a big posse out from SF so that we aren't the only ones taking in the sights and sounds San Jose has to offer.

We get the fuck outta dodge as soon as we can and head back to Mission for more cocktails into the wee hours at Dave's. I'm not looking forward to leaving SF but at least we got to have a couple days here this time. Crucial.



Oct 03 '09 (Eureka CA @ Nocturnum):

Being the Bigfoot enthusiast that i am, i'm always excited to get a chance to drive through the California Redwoods. Pretty uneventful day though, not a single bipedal humanoid sighting. You win this time, Samsquantch!

Eureka's a pretty interesting little town that also reminds me of being in the mountains of BC somewhere. There's a pretty interesting mix of metal kids, crust punks and hippies all moshing, doing the evil claw and rave dancing together? Our set instigates the first mosh pit in this club's short six month existence which is a lovely honour to have bestowed upon us. The small crowd sure seems to get excited for Kylesa's Pink Floyd cover...one couple can't stop making out the whole time. Set the controls for the heart of the sun, indeed.

Oct 04 '09 (Portland OR @ Satyricon):

Portland is my other favorite US town and we actually get to play at Satyricon tonight. Rad. Last time through we played a few blocks away at the Ash Street and Carly and I wandered over here to check out a crust fest our buds in Mass Grave were playing. The Ash Street's a pretty rad bar with a nice stage but i've always wanted to play Satyricon. Chicago black metallers Velnias are opening the show but i somehow miss their set while catching up with old friends outside...sorry dudes. Iron Lung are next and i make sure to catch their comedic doom-violence set. Awesome as always. Our set feels really good and the place is packed then Kylesa takes command and finishes everybody off. Portland rules and oddly enough our buds in Evil Survives are in town with our good pal Jon from Winnipeg. Joe from A.N.S. is also randomly in town.

We head out to stay with the always awesome Emily and Jay and we keep them up later than we should but hey, that's just what we do.

Oct 05 '09 (Seattle WA @ Chop Suey):

Seattle can be really hit or miss but tonight feels good. We're first of four tonight with Iron Lung, Red Fang and Kylesa but there's already a lot of people out when we play and we get to run down the street between Red Fang and Kylesa to see the powerhouse that is Heiress play at the Comet. Get to see a bunch of the folks from El Corazon and make some loose plans for a possible Bellingham show with Heiress in the upcoming months. Dope.

Getting to finally hang with the hilarious dudes in Red Fang bums me out that it's our last night of the Kylesa tour cuz they're all meeting up again with Saviours. I have no doubt that the last chunk of the tour would have been an absolute piss up which is really where we excel. We say our goodbyes to our TM Mark and the Kylesa camp and hit the road to cut some time off our final and bitter sweet drive to Spokane.



 

Oct 06 '09 (Spokane WA @ Cretin's Hop):

...i say bitter sweet because although we are almost ready to head home the only reason we are going back to Spokane is to scrap our beautiful van. The infamous Blue Bitch has been with us for years (and before that with S.T.R.E.E.T.S, Pride Tiger, etc) and despite the few problems we've had recently we still ended up with over 400,000 km's on her. We get our plates, empty out our crap, sit inside her for one last smoke then watch her get towed off into the sunset. R.I.P. Blue Bitch, we love you.

Play one last show before we head home and it's pretty funny that it's a small black metal show. Velnias is playing again though and i actually get to see them this time. The show's a weird mix of ambient instrumental and black metal but it's cool getting to play with bands totally different from us. I really wish Mike Hill was here to see this...but only because i'm enjoying it and him being the black metal purist he is, i'm sure he would have some fucking hilarious angry observations about the whole thing.

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All in all the tour was great and i had a surprising blast in the South, an area that's fairly unfamiliar territory for us. Thanks and shouts out to the Kylesa camp (Laura, Phil, Corey, Carl, Marshall, Dave and Mike), Tombs (love the shit out of you brotherrrs!), Saviours, Red Fang and all the awesome bands we got to see and play with. Thanks to all our friends who put us up and got us hammerder and everyone who helped out with the shows. We'll see y'all in the future...stay rad, fuckers!