Yes. I'm cranky. Thanks for noticing. I haven't had sex since 2002. What's YOUR excuse?
Here are some pet peeves I have about MySpace. So far its only redeeming quality here is that it isn't Facebook or Twitter.
1. "I'm leaving MySpace" - Oh, how original! I have seen variations of this ever since I joined my first newsgroup in 1997. Why not just say, "I'm a pathetic weenie that wants you all to stroke my ego"? You're not going anywhere. And if you do, you'll be back in 3 months, tops. Just go. Better yet, die.
2. "I apologize for men everywhere" - Oh STFU, Mr. NiceGuy! You don't speak for me. In fact you don't speak for MOST men. What if some of us *DO* think a woman owes us sex for the drink we bought them? Or agreeing to go back to our place at 3AM means we're not going there to play backgammon? (We just know better than to say that out loud in public, you dumbasses. How do you play backgammon, anyway?). You're not fooling anyone with that line.
3. "I'm sorry for not blogging lately" - I was enjoying the break. You asshole.
4. "There are real people with feelings behind these screens" - NAW REALLY??? You just figured that out, Sherlock? This is usually a line said by some internet badass who just got his head handed to them after being a jerkoff for so long.
5. "I can't believe no one has commented on this picture yet" - HAHA! Hi again, Mr. NiceGuy... yeah, you're gonna score brownie points by coimmenting her ugliest picture, aren't ya? (NOT!) Women SWOON over pity comments, don't they?
6. "I'm happily married and just looking for friends" - Uh huh. Let's see, where's the wife in your top friends? Next to supermodel #1? Nope... next to supermodel #2? Nope... Next to....
7. "I'm coming to your town to kick your ass!" - HAHA! If I had a nickel for every time I've heard someone tell me that, I could buy Graceland! So far, the number of people who have carried out this threat:
08. "I have haters" - *bangs head on desk* - Do you think any of us give you a second thought once we turn off our computers? SRSLY???
Sure people can't stand me, but I like to think I gave them a darn good reason. I'm irritating, juvenile, and obnoxious (but you love me, cuz I'm charming too!). But I'm nowhere near as bad as these people deluded into thinking people hate on them for no reason... YOU'RE AN IDIOT!!!! ASK ANYONE!
9. "All men are pigs" - Wow. And you can't find a guy? But you're such a catch. Oink, oink, BAY-BEE!
10. "I don't like drama" - Yet there you are at every drama with a front row seat. go figure.
BONUS!
11. YOU! - Don't get me started on you. "Look at me! Look at me! LOOK AT MEEEEE!". Shut up.
What are some things that drive YOU crazy here?