Dear Diana,

I was so happy to hear that your sons team won their High School soccer championship last week, I would never let my Derek play such a wetback sport, but kudos to you for letting your son lower his standards.

As you may have heard from your sister our household was under attack by a small fire, luckily we will be moving so those people we sold our house to will have to do with that.  Bradley thinks they had something to do with the fire because they couldn't pay for the house so this is there way of backing out. 

Luckily no one was hurt; the fire was in the kitchen.  Derek and his friend Thomas were up in his room and they had the good sense to go into the pool house for safety but the smoke from the fire got into their clothes so they had to take them off and then they fell asleep on the bed waiting for the Fire Department.  That's the Fire Department for you, never ready to help Real Americans but always available for some Negro whose "baby daddy" set fire to their house to collect on the insurance.

Any who besides the small fire Bradley, the family and I are doing wonderfully and we are planning our usual Wasper family trip.  We're thinking Arizona, because Bradley is already in Las Vegas with his secretary working on a very important merger (cross your fingers).  I could never go into Las Vegas with all the degradation of the human spirit and those filthy women throwing themselves at men when obviously they don't want them, to be honest I don't know how Bradley does it, he is always complaining but yet him and his secretary Megan go there every two weeks.  He is really dedicated to his work.

Well this is the end of my letter I will be sure to write you in a couple of weeks.

Have a wonderful week.

Love

Helena Wasper

--You might have received this letter before but you haven't written back in six months so I assume you haven't received it or you could not open it, which is why I am sending it again--