Have you ever wondered why people act the way they do? I have. I think I must be sad right now. I'm not to sure really, I feel disconnected right now. I want to work hard at something but I don't know what. So I think I am putting that energy into other things. Not bad things just other things. I recently started Geocaching again (www.geocaching.com). I put that there cuz I don't want to explain it really, But it is very fun so try it out some time.  I have recently realized a great love for the outdoors I have. I think every young boy likes the outdoors. Even some girls too (But they are ichy just kidding).  I think I had spent so much time indoors I forgot about how great it is to walk around and see stuff. But alas I digress.

         I feel like I look at people and wonder why do they do the things they do. I thank God for the opportunity to live where I do now. It has opened my eyes to a whole new culture. I mean 12 hours away from home and it is like a whole new country. People are different. At first glance I thought this place is great cuz its racially diverse. But I now know, That it is true but that does not mean they like it. A good friend told me recently they felt like this area was making him a little racist. I thought about it for a second and he was right. I can see that in my self right now too. It is not about hating someone for their color. Its about their income and car, also where they live. How sad 4500 years of civilisational evolution. But we still can't stop the racial devide. Granted I know back home things are different in the sense that things are not as money driven. They just have a huge racial divide as far as the towns they live in not really any better I guess. This one person I know has packed lunches for homeless people they see just driving around. What an amazing thing to do. I think that is a person thinking about how they can make a difference in the muck that society has made and doing something about it. I mean you never really think about it but we are just a few bad months away from being that person. If you had no family and no job. I am trying very hard not to allow this place to change my opions on the subject. I will not, I will be praying about this daily.

            I also am missing my friend. I think I tried not to feel anything about it. The fact is I am sad. That is all I have to say about that.

            I wish some people would not be fake. I see people all the time who just fake a lot of life. Saying they will do this someday and they are this kind of person. Well when you see the real person behind all that. It is hard to see them parade around like something they are not. I know I am not perfect I don't want to be. But I try not to fake it, this is my life for good or for bad. I live each day with the knowledge I am not in control of everything. I am just tired of being put down for enjoying life the way I do. Just because I chose to go outside and enjoy life. I hate it when people try to push the blame about a situation on everyone else when they know it is not that persons fault.

            So in recap. This has nothing to do with Blockbuster Online, or the mail man. Its just that he showed up right when I started this. He had some movies from Blockbuster Online (Carnivale season 2).

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