Juano was a gardener who had a magic rake.

His favorite dessert was his mother's Horchata Cake.

Juano was born in Mexico City to a mother who's life was full of self pity.

On his 5th birthday instead of a cake his mother presented him with his very first rake.

Juano got so happy he started to cry and ran to the garden to give it a try.

But when he got there the garden was bare.

He decided to give it some tender-loving care.

He gently raked the ground then he heard a sound!

Cotton and Corn grew here and there.

Cotton and Corn Grew EVERYWHERE!!!

Juano wondered "How could this be?"

Then the rake replied "Ahem...Me!   I'ms a Magical Rake fo' Heavenz sake. And I grewed yous some corn to sell on the curb with hot sauce mayonaise in the Mexican Burb'z."

Juano passed out in shock and surprise. And was 21 years old when he opened his eyes.

He picked up his rake and started to run.

To the river he went and lookin' for fun.

When he got there he met a leathery man who owned his own illegal fruit stand.

He purchased 2 melons from the Mexican Felon.

Then he took to the Rio Grande looking for The Promised Land.

He placed the melons under his pits 

   Juano Vs. The Rio Grande: A Battle Of Wits!

On his way to the Promised Land he started to practice his poker hand.

And his rake started complainin' that his vajayjay was painin'.

He washed up to the coast and prayed to The Holy Ghost for a loaf of cinnamon raisin toast.

But the Holy Ghost started to boast that Juano would get NO raisin toast!

So the rake (now named Juan Jake)

Shot out his magical power at 100 miles a hour and showered the coast with cinnamon raisin toast!

So Juano ran to the toast and started to devour all of it in less than an hour.

So the rake stood there and showed off his muscles and he and Juano started to tussle.

But when the fight went on a little too long Juan Rake started to feel REAL strong!

So that rake pulled out his shank and sliced Juano in his little brown face.

Blood and skin flew here and there.

Blood and skin flew EVERYWHERE!!!

Juan Rake scraped away and left Juano with a face full 'o' pain.

To Be Continued..........