Society is starting to disturb me.
Im gunna go ahead and say this right off the bat, I am not a genuinely good person.
But I'd like to say I'm a decently good judge of character.
In my life time, I have met very few genuinely good people.
And its not those person's fault either.
Its other people.
Its like everyone who is "good" by societies standards are "wrong".
Good people are surrounded by people, who for some reason, think that if your nice or good or polite, are uninteresting.
Most people who are genuinely good will slowly turn into worse people because they want to fit in.
that's because most good people hate to be alone, and its so hard to find other good people to be with.
I try my hardest to be a good person, if I like someone I'll show them.
Heck, I'll treat them like the sun shines out their ass.
But more often than not I find myself not doing so because I'm afraid this will push a person away, which it usually does.
Its like common courteousy is unacceptable!
Its ridiculous!
So all the good people who just want someone else there turn to bad people just so that they can have company.
But this doesn't make them a bad person, just someone who wants someone.
But this is really bad, if the bad people are what's "right" and the good people follow them in hopes of company, then how are good people going to distinguish them apart?
A good person will never meet another good person because you can never tell if someone is actually a bad person or a good person in disguise…..
that's total fucking bull shit!
The only way to root those good people out is to get close to bad people, one at a time, until you get close enough to see their true face.
Not the mask, the real them.
Which is a lot harder than anything I've ever done in my life.
And its not always good. That "real them"
And by the time you find that one good person.
That one person who will cherish everything about you in every way, all that rooting out you had to do, all those bad people you had to get close to to get to that one good person.
They've destroyed you.
By that time you have been hurt and betrayed and disappointed so many times you don't want to trust anymore.
Your empty, and even if that one person will cherish you, will you do the same?
Will you be strong enough to still be their one person?
I hope I will.
So fuck what other people expect from you!
Be who you are and don't forget who that person inside of you is, because you may need your real you again one day.
But don't forget your mask.
YOU are important, don't forget that.
Everyone else is important too, but if you spend to much time worrying about them, you may forget yourself.
Always remember.
You are a good person, no one should be able to change that.
And you can be someone else's "one person".
Just keep looking, you'll find them.
Oh, by the way, this is the kind of stuff that runs through my head at night.
And why I never can sleep.