An extract from the community newsletter of Great Blakenham, a small village in Suffolk where my parents live. I shudder at the thought of them living in such a dangerous area, rife with violent crime.
"During the month of July, there were four crimes of note in the area.
During the day on Friday 3rd July, a newspaper was taken from a letterbox in the side passageway of an address in Gipping Road.
Overnight Tuesday 7th to Wednesday 8th July, damage was caused to a vehicle whilst parked in the car park of a public house on Stowmarket Road. Damage was caused by a sharp instrument being used to scratch the vehicle.
Overnight Wednesday 8th to Thursday 9th July, damage was caused to a plant pot in the rear garden of an address on Stowmarket Road.
Between Sunday 26th and Tuesday 28th July, entry was gained to the village hall by the side door being forced and confectionary items were taken."
The Bronx, it ain't. Somebody please get me a job with the Suffolk Constabulary.