So I have just seen "POTC 3: At World's End".
This is going to be one big spoiler in the form of a blog, ranting about what struck me most from this movie and what I can remember after seeing Johnny Depp lick his own brain.
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So alright, let me start this review out by saying this movie was amazing. I was captived from the very start. The action sequences were fantastic, the gags were great and Johnny Depp is just damn sexy (to be blunt ^-^)
My first complaint was, as you may have guessed, the main character of the female type. I've ALWAYS. ALWAYS. hated Elizabeth. In the first movie, she was merely an annoyance. In the second, she was practically cheating on poor Will by hitting on Jack. In this movie, we see her take on the assumed role as a captain and then the King of Pirates. Hell, the Asian guy from Singapore thought SHE was the goddess Calypso. At this, I turn to Grace and say, "If she really is Calypso, I am going to be SO pissed." And to top it all off, after she said goodbye to Will for the next ten years, after Barbossa called her "Mrs. Turner", she tried to kiss Jack, who held up his hands and was like, "Um, no way." Jack Sparrow, a fine decision indeed.
I hated her more than I hated Mary Jane in Spiderman 3. That's a lot.
Thankfully, she wasn't. It was my friend, the dirt-caked Jamaican shamaness who needed a trip to the dentist. Tia Dolma, I love you.
In the spirit of "save the best for last", I will not discuss Jack's hallucinations until later. Now, I'm going to rant about Tia Dolma, whilst on the subject of her. I hated her in the last movie, but I found more respect for her in this one. When I saw the second movie for the first time at the theater, I hadn't noticed her musical necklace. It was when Danna brought the movie over to my house when she bought it. I told her that Davey Jones and Tia Dolma had the same necklace and the two of us had enough brainpower to link her as the woman Jones loved well before the third movie was announced. Danna and Grace thought the part where Ragetti (the man with the fake eye) frees her was lame (you must speak to her as her lover would), but I couldn't help but think it was cute how he folded his hands and whispered in her ear *^-^*
Lastly, I need to discuss Jack and his hallucinations. This was without a doubt the greatest parts of the movie.
First, in the locker, Jack is surrounded by white around his ship and he attempts to eat a peanut. He is promptly shot by someone, straining with his tongue to taste it before he dies. This person takes the peanut and turns out to be none other than another Jack Sparrow. He turns to another Jack, who turns to another Jack. Heterosexual women of the world, this was a ship full of Jack Sparrows. It was fantastic. They were all crazy, giggling, strange as always Jack Sparrows. Well, maybe a big stranger, considering one of them acted like a chicken and layed an egg. Either way, he shot one of them, they giggled and then they all disappeared. Strange....
Now the most amusing part of the movie occurs when Jack is sitting on the Dutchman, locked in the brig. Two more Jacks show up and start talking to him. By the way, do you remember the man who came out of the wall in the second movie? The one with the exposed brain? Well, there's another one of those, only it's a third Jack. As soon as you could see his brain, I could hear Danna laughing loudly and obnoxiously. I kept my composure. Then, in the midst of talking between all the Jacks, the one in the wall takes out his brain and licks it. Why? I don't know. I just know I lost my fucking mind at that point and almost pissed my pants laughing. By what I could hear, so did Danna.
Either way, the ending was suitible. Jack goes searching for the fountain of youth in what will someday be Florida, Will is captain of the Dutchman, and Elizabeth is still a dirty whore (their son, after the credits, looks nothing like either of them). And Gibbs is scoring with two floozies that Jack blew it with. Yay....