So, I went back yesterday to have a repeat endoscopy to check the state of the ulcers and they've completely healed. Pretty amazing to me after losing so much blood.  My haemoglobin level dropped from 14 to 6.7, it's back up to 12.4 now. I had four blood transfusions at the time it happened Just mild inflammation left, so I have to go on taking the medication for another 4 weeks at least, but the ulcers are gone! I still feel weak, but my mum's been here and turned into wonder woman and sorted out so much. The endoscopy wasn't pleasant - I was completely knocked out by the sedation, but that didn't really kick in until we were leaving! My poor mum was getting so anxious, I think they should have sedated her too! So, lots of vitamins and tonics and stuff to take, but have really changed my diet etc. over the last month and it's obviously working so that's a relief.

My other good news.... I posted a few weeks ago that one of my poems had got into the 'Poetry Rivals 2009' anthology. Think I said at the time that they were then going to pare that down to 100 (50 by under age 18s and 50 poems by over age 18s) - those people were then going to go along to a Poetry Slam reading, read their poem in front of an audience and a panel of judges - you get paid for that - the overall winner gets a publishing contract. Annnnyway, when I finally could check my email yesterday, there was an email with a link to a list of the final 100 and I got through!!! Wooohoooo!!!! I don't know, obviously, if I'm actually going to be well enough to go and do it, but for now am just thrilled that I got through. http://www.onlineleaversbo..oks.co.uk/poetryrivals/fin..alists.html

I know it's a repeat.... this poem!

From An Alley, A Flame

I waited for days inside that
alley, dark - watching - dim
but somehow smelling
of stale lavender, when my
granddaughter danced the dance
of the dying -
- mad, wild, hair tossing, eyes glitter spark
glitter spark, glitter spark, dulling, dulling.

She turns and turns, spinning -
oh daughter of daughter you will take off
these coats and we can feel the heat,
yes, love, we can feel the heat
in that body wracking with guilt,
with guilt with fear.

Once a young girl... you -
now - what are you now?
Where do you go now?
I know I cannot follow.

I tried.
I tried once.
I tried twice.
Perhaps I tried a third time.
I called you back I call you back.

You are not coming.

You never did oh my
girl when I thought you were here
you were already gone.

Now this heat, this fire
furious fighting fearsome flames.

My genius.
Burning yourself out before you could begin.

I will cry.
One day.

Not now.

Are you rising?
Burn, my flesh of flesh, burn.

Did you come back last night?
I was waiting -
the alley was silent.
I thought I saw a spark ignite
and a gate open.
Were you burning your way back home?

The fire rose quickly when the door shut.
The flames coloured the sky an orange light
like the crayons we used when you were small.

But then the cold came.

You died.
And I still don't know why.

© Morney Wilson