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Current mood:  determined Category: Life
A few weeks ago I learned (the hard way) that I have gall stones. One painful night, x-rays, ultrasound and a blessed morphine injection later I'm sad/glad to say that the offending organ will be removed from my body and devoured by wolves. Well, maybe not exactly. But it will be removed and done away with.
This past week I met with the surgeon who will be sucking (almost literally) my gall bladder out and was amused to learn that he cannot draw. Not even a little. He was open to this criticism and fully admitted his lack of artistic skills but insisted that he was quite deft in the 'cutting folks open and removing rebellious organs' portion of his job. One can only hope.
But since his pen could not give me a good enough idea of what was going to happen to me I took to the inter-tubes. Check this out! 
There it is! The little green pain in my gut. I now occasionally punch my right side and taunt the gall bladder with its impending removal! Take that you damned useless bile duct! Ha!
Any way- On Friday December 5th they will make four small incisions in my bulging belly, snip the green thingie from under my liver and suck it out through my belly button. This will mark the first time my belly button will have served as anything other than a lint collector or a convenient spot for water to collect in the bathtub. If you were in the surgery it would look something like this- 
Those are not moon landers on final approach to my stomach. Although that's kind of a cool idea. One of things is a camera, one is a stick to poke the gall bladder into anger and another is the straw that captures the enraged organ and rips it out of the body. They will then cage the newly freed thing and study it in hopes it can grow to man sized proportions and take over the hospital. Or at least get Sigorney Weaver out of her clothes. 
So, between now and then I'll be doing whatever I can to avoid having another gall stone attack (low fat diet!) and rigging up a flamethrower. I don't want to have to nuke St. Thomas Hospital from orbit just to be sure.
So, keep me in your thoughts and keep a pulse rifle near to hand on December 5th. You never know!
11:57 PM
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