When I was a child i would go grocery shopping every week with my parents. Once in while i would see this man with matted dreds, a kind face and carmel complextion. Sometimes thier would be twigs or leaves in his hopelessly matted hair...

One outing i actually asked my father about him. My father told me that he had been married and actually wealthy... his wife died, and he sold everything and now lived in the woods. At the time that was just an explanation to a childhood curiosity! Every once in a while i think of it.... think of how hoplessly lost he was without that love, and when he said forever, he had meant it. i think of it, because i more than miss my father every damn day... and i have adult curiosities and he is not hear to answer. He may have told me a fairytale, but to me it still resignates and i want such devotion and love in my life!!! If that man was that lost without his one and only, i imagine how close, and in love they must have been! No past hurts or present stressors to be in the way... just them.

So many people say goodbye and are so false. They say forever, and you part ways. even though you are both still alive the goodbye has become the forever! I cannot wrap or shall i say warp my mind around such things. My life is not valued above any one elses... so why act like yours is at a higher cost than mine?! I will do any and everything in my power to keep those who want to keep me... If I am ever without you, those who love me... i cant promise the rest of my life in the solitude of the wilderness, but my soul shall foever more wander and ache for you! Maybe a camping trip, i dont know! Just do not leave me, its a better solution! If you want me, tell me! if you need me, want to hear that too! if you love me, i will know! love cannot be held back, if its true, all will know.... feelings that are left unshared, never were there...Such things are not guessing games... life, devotion...are not games... not emotion, but ability. IF you love me, i thank you.... and i want to return it, til i ache... want to avoid goodbyes, want to avoid the pain of doubt. If you are who i speak of, please know it without hesitation... please just know that for the most part, such things do not need to only exsist in a movie... art imitates life after all....