When you promote live music, it's a dead cert that you'll have more downs than ups. I love putting on gigs, but sometimes you get the feeling that having repeated dullness of the heart (due to: low audience numbers, financial loss, or maybe the bands not being as great as you'd hoped) is not really something you enjoy, and therefore should be avoided. At times like that I decide to take a step back and stop promoting live music. This is what happened to me at the end of 2006 during the demise of The Tuesday Club, which was lauded by all,  bar Newcastle Upon Tyne (spare 30 of you). The Maccabees brought me back from the brink, lined my pocket and fired my heart - every gig of 2007 was a joy and a triumph.

2008 has been harder; there are many reasons and no one is responsible. Yesterday morning I was in the solid belief that I was not to book any more live music; I was feeling the strain and had no driving force within me to mask any misery.

Then I opened the doors at 8.15pm last night to a massive queue of young girls; I'd never seen any of them before - I doubt that many of them had ever seen live music outside of the Universities or the Carling Academy. They'd found The Cumberland Arms, and were here to see Jose Vanders play live - a girl who has never released a record or received any conventional marketing.

The pleasure is unknown - like the days when I first started promoting, and I didn't know anyone who paid to come in - you know that these people aren't here to do you a favour, to support you, or because they believed in the promotional 'brand' (that is something else though.. for another day, and equally as amazing when you start to get that); they're here because they want to see their 'new favourite band'. Last night I knew maybe ten people in that room; and there were 70 or so who I'd never seen in my life.

There are several reasons I think that last night was important; the bringing of a new audience into a venue they may return to, free of corporate branding, empty voids, and employees who feel they are one of many; the provision of something slightly different for that audience, hopefully sparking some kind of interest in doing things differently; other reasons I've forgotten...

Needless to say, it was good to see 15 year old girls picking up back issues of The Cuckoo Press, eating vegan cakes, and having a nice time in a venue where there was no hostility or hint of hostility, a place as far removed from the rock and roll cliché (yet at the heart of 'our' rock and roll) as probably possible.

anyway, thanks very much if you came down; I had an amazing night and feel positive about music again. I don't know if I have it in me to promote what I have in my head from scratch, but we'll see how it goes.

x