Dear local news media (newpaper, TV, radio, et al),

I just wanted to drop you all a note of thanks to express my gratitude for all of the wonderful weather reporting you have done of late. Your accurate and comprehensive coverage of the tornadoes the other week kept my ass in the La-Z-Boy and my eyes glued to the set despite the sirens blaring overhead. I even thought I saw my own house from Newschopper 4!

Your coverage of the tornadoes was only the beginning, though. Your collective anticipation of the "March Madness" snowstorm that "threatened" our very existence yesterday proves that you have no concern for anything besides the safety, health and welfare of the community at large. Your advice to everyone to "not leave the house if you don't absolutely have to" saved countless lives yesterday as temperatures dropped down to the low '40s and a slight drizzle blew in from time to time.

Everyone with more than a grade-school-level education knows that there is no more dangerous threat to midwesterners' lives than the possibility of dreaded "black ice" and when faced with this imminent threat yesterday, the only thing for a non-suicidal individual to do is leave the Hummer in the garage.I especially liked the advanced warning you gave us of the 6-18 inches of snow we were staring down the barrel of late Monday evening. As I drove to work at my neighborhood bar yesterday at 6:00pm braving the ominously clear skies, I said a silent prayer that no paying customers come out tonight and risk life and limb.

I can only imagine how many lives were saved by you metrowide, but I can testify that based on my bar's business last night, your accurate weather coverage yesterday saved at least a score. While one cannot attach a price to a human life, your benevolence cost my bar a mere $400 (based on net averages) and me only about $100. A small price to pay for safety, I'm sure you can agree.

I encourage you to continue this type of weather coverage. Anyone can open a window and realize that the apocalypse is coming, and soon. The sky is indeed falling. It's important that people are kept glued to their TVs and kept up to date with late-breaking and investigative weather coverage. Human lives (and television advertising revenues) depend upon it.

Yours to the very end,

Robert A. Asher, Jr.
Bartender