"No one ever went broke underestimating the intelligence of the American people."    - H. L. Mencken

Abraham Lincoln once observed: "You can fool some of the people all of the time, and all of the people some of the time." He may have been the first to put his finger on it, but it's a phenomenon that marketers and publicists have run wild with ever since, peddling an endless series of schlock to the public.

In the process, more than a few second-rate products have been put on a mantle when they were far better suited for the trash. Below are some of our erstwhile creations: the most overrated products, personalities and events of all time.

1- Cats

They're lazy, disobedient and they sleep more than most postal workers, yet cats have been worshipped by societies dating back to antiquity. Unlike dogs (man's true best friend), cats are flea-ridden, hairball-coughing ingrates that would just as soon claw your eyes out as acknowledge you. It's little wonder that James Bond villains were seldom without one. Granted, they're independent and relatively low-maintenance, but it's difficult to respect a creature whose chief selling point is that it defecates in a box. Let's face it; you know something sucks when people routinely give it away for free.

2- The NBA Slam Dunk Contest

There was a time, not so long ago, when the Slam Dunk Contest was the crown jewel of the NBA's All-Star weekend. That time ended in 1986 with Spud Webb's improbable victory over his teammate Dominique Wilkins. Recent winners have included Harold Miner and Fred Jones -- players who are barely household names in their own households.

The problem, it would seem, is the league itself, which limits the event to pros who have been in the league for three years or less. This stipulation denies fans the chance to see true craftsmen, and instead gives them Chris "The Birdman" Anderson, a forward who needed nine attempts this year before finally converting his first dunk. Thanks, but if I want to see guys missing wide-open shots, I'll just head down to my local Y.

3- The Winter Olympics

Every four years, the world goes head-over-ski tips for the Winter Olympics, a celebration of amateur athletes, frostbite and unpronounceable Russian surnames. Those who love them say the Winter Olympics are about competition, sportsmanship and fair play, all of which are nice ways of concealing the fact that you're being force-fed 100 hours of biathlon and bobsled coverage. Let's face it; these are sports that appeal to virtually no one living outside of Estonia. Until the Winter Olympics include a Sumo Ski Jump competition, they'll always be a second-rate affair.

4- Ben Affleck

Ben Affleck is one of many actors whose very celebrity overshadows his body of work. Given that his oeuvre includes Gigli and Reindeer Games, it might not be such a bad thing. When not sleeping with strippers or overindulging in any one of his vices, the smug thespian is trying to slide by on his rapidly dwindling supply of charm. It didn't work in Pearl Harbor and it certainly didn't work in Daredevil. After all, we're talking about an actor who once got beaten out for a role by Corey Haim. Sure, he won a Best Screenwriting Oscar for Good Will Hunting, but it's safe to assume that Matt Damon did everything but staple together the script.

5- The Home Run Race of 1998

Baseball was still reeling from its latest work stoppage in 1998 when Sammy Sosa and Mark McGwire made the game relevant again with a barrage of home runs. The muscle-bound pair shattered the record books with respective totals of 66 and 70 taters.

It was a great story, and likely would have remained one were it not for Jose Canseco's recent revelations that he injected steroids into McGwire's freckled ass. Combine that with the fact Sosa's bats have been found to contain more cork than a French winery, and the summer of '98 suddenly stands out as a celebration of fraud and deceit. Where have you gone, Joe DiMaggio?

6- The Miss Universe Pageant

Just how many times do we have to hear an ESL student tell us that she wants world peace? Drop the bathing suits, install a little mud-wrestling, and  then  you'll have a broadcast worth tuning in to.

7-  People's 50 Most Beautiful People

Queen Latifah? Blythe Danner? Ed Harris? What clerical error allowed these B-list celebs to crack People's annual list? What People doesn't want you to know is that most of their selections are determined by upcoming film and TV projects, and not by beauty alone. If Frank Stallone's and Tony Danza's lovechild had a movie to promote, he'd be there too.

8- Starbucks

Tune into late-night TV and you're likely to see a teary-eyed Sally Struthers telling you that you can sponsor a child for less than the price of a cup of coffee. What she doesn't tell you is that if that coffee is from Starbucks, you can sponsor the entire village. Come on, folks, it's a coffee -- it's a bean with hot water. If you believe otherwise, you're as full of crappaccino as Starbucks.

9- Sliced bread

The best thing since sliced bread? Please. It's time to draw up some new cliches. Sure, sliced bread is convenient, but in the cosmic scheme of things, it has nothing on a whole slew of other manly pleasures. If we were truly being honest with ourselves, a more appropriate cliche would be "the best thing since watching Sports Center in your underwear" or "the best thing since guilt-free sex." Sliced bread was a wonderful innovation in its day, but that was before TiVo, porn and squeezable Cheese Whiz. It's time to celebrate the advance of technology and leave sliced bread where it belongs -- aisle seven of your local supermarket.

Do you agree?