I don't have much time and energy to write one of my super-blogs and say all I would like to say about my precious Booberry muffin, but I wanted to briefly explain what's going on to my friends who know something is up but don't understand exactly what's happening.

Boo is very old and has advanced brain tumors now, so he is blind, deaf, senile and sick and the time has come that his quality of life is poor and I am keeping him here just so I can hold him and look at him every day.
My entire life has become an ocean of tears and pain as I know the right thing to do is let him go. He requires round-the-clock care and no one really knows how to take care of him but me. He doesn't recognize anyone else and gets very upset when man-handled by babysitters, so I have made some decisions about how to go about this.

I am traveling to Seattle and Sequim to see my family on the 13th-19th of August, and I am staying with Boo day and night until then. My social life is on hold and friends who would like to see me or say good-bye to my baby are welcome to come by the Love Shack to do so. He won't know who you are or what the hell is going on, and I will be a blubbering mess as usual lately, but your love and support is very much needed and appreciated- so thank you so much to those wonderful friends who have come by or will be stopping by soon to see us. The kind words and prayers that so many of you have sent mean the world to me too, so don't think they are going unnoticed because I have been unresponsive at times. Every thought for our well-being helps and speaks volumes. Thank you all.

There has been a change of plans as I have lost my driving partner to go with me to Sequim, so I will be putting Boo to sleep here at my vet's office on Monday, August 11th.  I'll be having a "slumber party" on Sunday the 10th, although I know it's a school night and most friends can't sleep over- really it's just a going-away party for my baby, to see him one last time and comfort me on the hardest night of my life.
After that, I will have Boo cremated and placed in an urn I have chosen for him.  I have asked Jamie to paint Boo's portrait as well, so I'll keep his ashes and painting displayed in my home where I can look at him often. 
It will take at least a week to get his ashes back, so I will have two days to cry and pack before leaving to see my family and hopefully being with them will cheer me up and bring the light back into my life.  When I return, Boo's ashes will be delivered to my home and he will be with me again, forever. 

I am in so much pain (emotionally) and am crying so hard I can't even see right now (good thing I know how to type without looking at the keys), so I will have to write a better blog about my Boo and what an amazing, wonderful companion he has been to me all his life. For now I just wanted you all to know what's happening so you won't wonder what is wrong or why I have been such a mess and so out of touch.

Pet owners will fully understand what this is like, I know. For others who have not been so blessed as to have a familiar so close and in tune with them, I can only describe this by asking you to imagine having a sick, dying grandparent you grew up with and loved dearly in the hospital on life support and you're the one named to decide when it's time to pull the plug.
It's not easy, and it's not for anyone else to judge. It's the hardest decision I have ever had to make. It's like a knife twisting through my heart and I feel like I'm dying myself. So, that's what I'm going through and that's the best I can do to explain it right now.

My Boo and I have had a wonderful life together and I could not have asked for a sweeter, smarter, cooler, more intuitive pet. I have been truly lucky and it has been my life's greatest joy to be his mom. The only light at the end of this long, dark tunnel is that my baby will no longer suffer and can run along beside me again from the spirit world, where he is happy and free. I can imagine him the way he was when he was young. He'll be able to see, go for walks, sit up, roll over, tap dance, burrow into the pillows on the couch, talk to me, snuggle and lay next to me in bed the way he hasn't been able to for the last couple of years, and this gives me some comfort.

As horrible as this feels right now, it doesn't compare to the happiness I have felt for nearly 15 years just having this incredible, loving creature in my arms, and I am truly grateful for the time we've shared.
It is all more than worth it in the end.