I have been doing a lot of writing lately.. besides music it is the only thing that helps heal my soul.. so I thought Id share A chapter from my book You guys are the first ever to see it!! The chapter is appropriately entitled... "LOVE ADDICT!"
Enjoy..
EXCERPT FROM "STAR DUST"
I am what they call a love addict.. amongst other things..
Every since I could remember I was all
about boys.. and it was never this, “oh he's cute..” it was like
do or die.. if this boy doesn't like me then my life is over....
always tragic. I was always doing crazy shit for boys. Like the time
I was five and convinced my mother to let me ride my bike to school,
when really I was planning on ditching school to go hang out with
these sixth grade boys that lived right behind me. Now sure your
probably thinking.. why would A five year old be hanging out with
twelve year old boys? Or an even better question should be.. why the
hell would twelve year old boys be hanging out with a five year
old?? The answer? Cause I was the shit! I was the only girl on a
block full of mean, dirty, boys, and they all loved me! And I loved
them. I had no girl friends.. I was the biggest tomboy ever. I skate
boarded, climbed trees, set crap on fire with them.. and ran around
wild where ever I wanted, I was like Wendy from Peter Pan.. always taking care of the "lost boys" It was a good time. The funny thing is my
parents let me. I mean I was five!! But my attitude was always that
of someone who was older. I think of how tiny and young I was, and sometimes I look at little girls that age and think what in the hell where my parents thinking??.. I
would never let my five year old little girl run around and do half the shit I did!! In fact... NO ONE SHOULD!!
My parents were very young.. sometimes
I felt like I was the parent. They always had people over
partying... so I was like an adult child in a world full of childish
adults. But I was free.. no rules. I did what ever I wanted. But now
that I am older.. I realize this was a bad thing. For a long time I
had no structure, rules, discipline in my life.. fuck I still don't.
I never knew limits. But I did know trouble, it was practically my
middle name. I was always in trouble. Always in the principals
office.. for fighting, my bad attitude.. stealing, or smoking. I
hated authority and people telling what to do. When I was in fifth
grade I was in the principals offices everyday. I was a huge bully.
Why? Because my home life was insane, drugs, violence, poor as
fuck. I rebelled right from the being.. now some kids rebel in their teens against their parents because they live in this perfect little
world. Me? I rebelled right from the start.. against everything and
anything.. the world. I guess I was doomed from day one...
I remember this guy I was totally
into(surprised?) well he was like eighteen, and me and my friend
would always lie about are age to boys.. I think we said we were like
sixteen, when really we where like fourteen, if that. I really liked
this guy a lot. He was bad, had tattoos.. the usual.. I had gotten
grounded for some shit I had done, and this guys was staying over at my
best friends house across the street with his friend, and her parents
were outta town.. and it was full on party time.!! I was like fuck, I
have to get over there!! It was snowing.. my parents were
partying(figures) Now not many people in the world know this, in fact
know one really knows this, but I have a younger half brother(that is
a long story in its self) So I told him to tell my parents if they
asked were I was to tell them that I was very sick and had went to
bed. Mean while I snuck right into my parents room, which led to our
back yard. My plan was to go through the back yard, climb the fence,
go through the ally, in the freezing snow, all the way to my best
friends house, all so I could see this boy. Since my parents where to
busy parting they never even noticed! The only problem was... how the
hell was I gonna get back with out them knowing?
I met up with my bad boy, and we
partied all night. The next morning I knew My parents would be going
to the store. I just prayed they didn't try to come down into my room
in the basement to make me go with them... I watched them leave from
my friends window.. then ran across the freezing snowy streets to try
and figure out how the fuck to get back in.. I ran back into the ally
to my backyard in hopes that the sliding glass window in my parents
room would still be unlocked.. But it wasn't... I was fucked, and it
was really cold outside.. I had forgot to bring my jacket. My only
hope was the garage door.. that it was unlocked and I could pull it
open... “oh god please be open” I thought!! It turns out it
was!! Thank god!! and even better was the door into the garage was
unlocked as well!! I frantically made my way in, and back to bed I
went.. just in time for the arrival of my parents...
All that retarded drama.. and why?? for
what else, some stupid boy.. of coarse at the time I thought he
was”the love of my life'” Well he hooked up with another
friend of mine in the end.. because I wouldn't put out. Figures.. I
was devastated.. so heartbroken... probably for like the third time
that year.. Thats me, always finding some boy.. falling all head over
heels.. getting my heartbroken, feeling like its the end of the world
and ill never find anyone as awesome as he was.. but the funny thing
is... I always do.. and the story goes on! You gotta laugh. Will I
ever learn?? Of coarse.. but getting there is half the fun!