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Current mood:  complacent Category: Blogging
I have already succumb (succumbed?) to New Year expectations. I thought I could by-pass it; left at the lights and down a country lane but, alas! Even sticking to routine by seeing my aunt on New Year's Eve, drinking tea, doing a jigsaw, getting bored by the length of London's fireworks on TV and finally agreeing with everything on the programme 'Grumpy Old New Year' was not enough. I still found myself waking up yesterday morning and clinging to my resolutions with a childlike eagerness.
1) To not buy meaningless, unessential items just because I can for something to do. This was a throwback from my 'sales' spending guilt - £100 on clothes! I should be saving for a potential move, for Jon coming over, for real-life issues... not flitting it away on more dresses, more shoes, more bloody DVDs! I'm caught in the grip of a huge middle-class materialist hand pushing me towards pretty things and I can't seem to resist. 'I need this', 'I might need it', 'I could do with that', 'It only costs...'. Goddamnit! That's it. No more.
So far I haven't but I did watch a great film (Fool's Gold) that arrived in the post today as a purchase made before New Year.
2) To write something, anything, everyday (preferably in the time I would have spend aimless wandering cheap stores for things I really don't need). This was originally intended for my script; to write at least a scene a day and yesterday I managed just that while gently clobbering my writer's doubt with a 'Croc' shoe (the closest clog to hand). I also wrote in my journal. I was really lax at that last year. I can't quite work out whether that was because so much happened I had no time to, so much happened that I didn't want to remember or nothing much happened worth writing about. 2008 was an eclectic year full of losses and gains, adventure and hermitisation that I guess it was the triplicate. I'm also writing this; exercising my opinions, and my fingers, and will probably decide that's enough for today and go watch another film that arrived in the post today (a Tom Hanks quintrilogy only £9.99 from play.com (owned by the devil) and free postage).
3. To socialise with more people more often. i.e. Spending every Sunday at home for film night with Lee and every other night at my aunts is not a social life. It's sad. So far I have gone to an old friend's house and reminisce the good ol' times when we hung out 10 years ago. Crushed my talking-to-people-I-don't-know-very-well/at-all fear and threw myself into a conversation with a friend of a family friend who both popped in for a brew and last night went for dinner with come family friends I'd usually avoid due to their incessant boredom... Tonight I am going to my aunt's.
Meanwhile I'm trying to not go insane looking for a job while also trying to decided exactly what it is I want to do and how the hell I'm going to get there...
 | Currently reading:
Dear Fatty
By Dawn French
Release date: 2008-11-04 |
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4:26 PM
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