There has been a lot going on the past few months, and I have been so torn down by everything. I feel like I'm at rock bottom right now, and I can't go any further down so might as well go up right?

My appointment at the doctors really scared me... Having to have my doctor do a biopsy on my cells to test for any abnormalities is the scariest feeling... It makes you prepare for the worst and I freaked. I realized that I've been living my life so... negatively... if that's the word. It really makes you think of who your real friends are, how you're treated, how you carry yourself, and how everything affects your life.. Just everything.

I've met the most amazing friends recently and I feel like I've taken that for granted. I have been hurt so many times in the past, it gets intimidating trying to build any kind of relationship whether it's romantic of between friends. But the very few friends I have have been the best thing that has ever happened to me. Aside from all the drama, betrayal, and heartbreak, I came out of it all with a very small, tight group of close friends and I would've have it any other way :]

Now, with that appointment, I realized that I'm straight up not healthy. I've been so stressed out it's making my body shut down. Soooo with that awesoem news... I've decided I need to take a more proactive view on things. My mom is helping me get back in shape. We've been walking for the past two days and I'm ready to start running again :] My diet has to change because it's not helping... So my first step is cutting out soda... Since I drink it like I should water. It's going to be a tough transformation, but I'm so tired of living my live at rock bottom. I need to move up. My mom has been so awesome in supporting me through this and so have my friends. I owe you guys everything, thank you so much for being my strength :] I won't let you down :]

Much love <333333